Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘winter’

There are many words that roll off your tongue…

Words like: Cupola, Pergola, Begonia, and Ennui.


[ahn-wee, ahn-wee; French ahn-nwee]  Show IPA


a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom


I’ve been feeling this nagging sense of ennui for the past two weeks.  Ever since I burned my hand torching last Tuesday and I haven’t been able to play with flame or to do much at all.  In case I forgot to tell you guys or update my blog lately, but I put my hand into my torch last Tuesday.   No, it wasn’t some tribal ritual, or ancient rite of passage, just me torching and not keeping focused on the flame.  It was almost as if I forgot the flame was there and stuck my hand right into it.  I got the base of my right thumb pretty badly.  It didn’t even blister, just kinda cooked in one spot.  New skin is finally coming in, but it still smarts.

I am so tired of this period between winter and spring, it’s too cold to go outside, but everything is blooming and the snow is almost gone, but what’s left is a mud puddle.

At least the gardening catalogs are coming in on schedule.  I’m hoping to put in a few raised beds this year so I can garden more.  My five-year plan is to have a “no-mow” yard with the pool and the gazebo (another good word) and plants and flowers everywhere else.  I would love to naturalize with easy to care for indigenous plantings.  Lots of Bee balm and butterfly bushes, but tons of veggies too.  Enough to can and put up for next winter.  I love canning fresh  foods.

I’m off now to soak my hand.  It’s a good thing that I went to the lavender festival last fall, and it’s a really good thing that I got ambitious and made lavender oil last month, and it was even  more advantageous that the finished bottle of lavender oil was in the basement when the burn occurred.  Kept it from becoming a festering mess, I’m convinced of it.

Have a lovely day my friends.  I can’t believe my grandson is six today.  Happy Bearthday Harp.  Gram-ma B loves you to the moon and back, twice.

They never tell you about the cold.

My oncologist has warned me about many side effects of the Alitma that I’m on.  The one he never me mentioned is the decreasing circulation in my hands and feet.  For the past three weeks my feet feel like they have been encased in ice.  Now the average person would say, “well, just put socks on”.  While this would be an ideal solution in an ideal world, I don’t live in an ideal world and while my feet are busy freezing they are also sweating profusely.  So much so that in a matter of a half hour my socks are damp, which makes the cold feel worse.  So I take the socks off and they just get cold again.  It’s a vicious circle.

My hands are so cold most times that it’s hard to pick up or carry things.  My joints get so cold that they lock up.  If I’m sitting still, I’m either knitting or crocheting, just to keep my hands in motion and active.  I can’t wait for it to get warm again so I can handle things that have been warmed by the sun.  It’s gotten so cold here for the past week.  Cold and damp.  Not so good for someone with achy bones.  I did take a nice hot bath last night and that seemed to help me sleep last night.  Maybe I take another one tonight, this time with some lavender to really knock me out.

I’m off for my afternoon nap now.  Have a great day everyone.  Stay warm.

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