Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘tired’

Another weekend over and I’m exhausted again.


If  it wasn’t for Joes PT I would have slept all day today. Did so much running this past week and weekend.  I’m not used to being this active and I’m paying for it now.

Friday was run errands day, Saturday, Went to the Baptism for four beautiful little ones.  Two girls and two boys.  Children of someone I watched grow up.  We lost contact several years ago, so I was surprised to be invited, but wonderfully blessed to be included and welcomed back.  Seeing her brothers and sisters and their children touched me.  They have all done so well for themselves.  Between them they have 23 kids and they all live within three blocks of their mother.  What a blessed grandmother she is.  She is so involved with their lives.  I truly envy her getting to see all her beautiful babies every day.

I did get to visit a bit with my grands yesterday.   C&L spent the night at ex’s house and came by here after breakfast.  I love spending time with my grands.  It seems that I never get to see them.  They are growing so fast.  I guess that’s why I envy Apple her  babies so much.  There are days I want to chuck everything and move to their town just to be more a part of their lives.  But I’ll take what I can get when I can get it.  I can’t wait till they are older and have computers that I can Skype on or they get on FB or even e-mail.  Right now it’s hard to even get a hold of them.  I wish there was a way we could connect more on a weekly basis instead of quarterly like we do now.

So now I’m off to torch for a while.  Need to spend some time in creative mode.

 

Hit the wall running today


After such a good day Wednesday, boy did I crash and burn yesterday and today.  Morning sickness is back in full force this morning.  I’m so tired and achy.  I just want to sleep.

I’m so ready to chop my hair off.  I’m tired of trying to not throw up on it in the mornings.  Too much like work anymore.  I don’t have the energy to deal with it.  The washing, brushing, dyeing.  It’s just too much right now.  Besides, I might look pretty cool with short hair again.  I looked pretty good bald, why not.  Especially with summer coming and being in and out of the pool.  No hassle hair.  I think I’m gonna do it.

   

I like any of these four.  Short, simple and stylish.

I’m off to nap some more.  I might even try to eat something.  Although I don’t know what.  Nothing even sounds remotely good right now.

So tired, I feel like I’m 90


I don’t remember ever being this tired in my life.  I went to bed at 8:00 pm last night and didn’t move till 10:00am when the phone rang.  I never woke up, I never changed position.  From what I can tell all I did was sweat.  I woke up to wringing wet nightgown, with my hair dripping wet.  I slept soundly from what I can tell.  No bad dreams to remember.  Just exhausted.  I’m to tired to even fire up my torch.  I wonder how often I can get a B-12 shot?

I’ve been noticing lately how fat the squirrels and the chipmunks are getting.  I hope that doesn’t mean we have a storm heading our way.  I’m so ready for spring.  I can’t wait to unearth the beautiful blue pool that I know is lurking under that ugly black tarp.  The only thing it’s good for now is that the water trapped in the top offers a place for birds to bathe on sunny days and for the ducks to land and rest.  Which of course means that I have to deal with all the birdie poopie when we take the tarp off.  Can’t exactly throw a 20×40′ tarp in the laundry.

I just really want warm weather to get here.  I’m so tired of being cold already.

I had once blogged about my photo wall upstairs and how each of the old photo’s held a meaning to me.  My next photo is one containing my Grandma, Grandpa, my sister and myself.  Sister and me are dressed alike in homemade dresses, hers pink, mine blue.  I was three and she was five.  Grandpa taught me the hardest lesson I’d ever learned that day.  If you want to know, you have to ask.

Staring at my work area and asking myself


Why?  Why do I have all this beautiful glass and not a clue what to do with it.  When I started doing Lampwork, I went to a lot of classes and watched tutorials and bought books and copied techniques until I could replicate (or approximate) any technique.  I was so excited to learn and try new colors and techniques.

Then I got sick and for 4 years the glass sat and gathered dust.

I think my muse got just as dusty.

I now have hours that I can spend on my torch every day and I find excuses not to.  I look at all the colors of glass and I don’t have a clue what goes together anymore.  I’ve lost my “feel” for the glass.

I think I’m creatively stumped and I don’t know how to get over it.

I think I’ll go take a nap.

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