Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘Thyroid’


I have been wanting to use that word forever.  It’s a great word, just say it really fast in a pained voice.  It perfectly describes my week so far.  If it’s not one thing, its my mother.

Was so sick on Friday.  Had a full physical breakdown.  Started to shake like I was naked on an iceberg, but at the same time sweat was pouring out of every pore in my body.  I literally soaked a pair of jeans, legs and all, in about 3 minutes flat.  Water was streaming off my face, I couldn’t catch my breath I couldn’t stand up.  My hands and legs started tingling and then went numb.  Lasted for about twenty minutes then it was over.  Just like that, over.  Went to the doctors Saturday morning and he did some blood work checking for a calcium deficiency.  Now that my thyroid is working they are discovering the other glands that have stopped working and are dealing with them one  at a time.  This time it’s my para-thyroid that they think is not working anymore so no calcium stored.  Wonder what the cure for this is.  Another freaking pill.  I already take so many that I rattle.

So, Saturday night, Tiger Game.  It ruled.  I never left my seat.  It went so fast and the boys looked so good out there.  It was a pleasurable night at the ball park.  Not too hot, not too cold, good seats.  Great company.  Nuff said.

Then yesterday, Joe got his knee replaced.  Total replacement.  So he’s in the hospital for a few days.  Everything went well.  He’ll be home in a few days doing more than he’s supposed to, sooner than he’s supposed to.  But, that’s .  He’s not one to sit on a couch and do nothing.  I’ll have to bungee him down.

This morning was throwing up sick till almost eleven.  Didn’t get to the hospital till noon thirty or there about.  Tito and Mary came and sat with him while I went to another part of the hospital for chemo.  Took over two and a half hours today, liked to wipe me out.

Got back to see Joe and hung out for a couple of hours, just chatting.  Made it to six thirty before we both realized that we were laying there sleeping.  I headed for home and ran into the last person on earth that I thought I’d run into heading into my husband’s room.  His ex-wife, came to visit, my husband.  Does anyone else find that odd.  We’ve been together for almost twenty years now.  Granted, she did show up with my stepson, not alone so bonus on her for that one.  I was just struck dumb.  You all would have been proud of me.  I was every inch the person my dog thinks I am.  I greeted them with warmth and directed them to Joe’s room.  Asked how she was doing, chatted with M for a second, then went on my way home.  My eyebrows are still drawn together on that one.  I know they have a connection through the kids and the grands, but I wouldn’t let him visit her unless it was dire.  Unnecessary contact with a person who has broken me down at every turn, as it were.  I need to dwell on this one.

I think Oscar suffers from OCD.  He’s getting too set in his ways.  Examples;  Every night at nine he goes to bed, every night.  To go into the basement, he first has to go from the family room into the office then down the stairs.  He won’t eat unless I’m in the room.  If I leave his sight, he cries till I return, even if it’s just the bath room.  He will not willingly walk on hardwood floors.  He will not willingly step on wet grass.  His blanket has to be a certain way or he will sit and stare at it till you fix it.  He carries his toys from one end of the family room to the other and sets them in line.  He’s great with big dogs but is terrified of the little dogs in my neighborhood.

By now your eyeballs are probably rolling back in your heads out of boredom so I’ll sign off.  Gotta go lay down for a few, you know my nap before I go to bed.  Huggs.

The results are in.

Due to the extensive radiation I’ve had done to my neck and throat, my thyroid had stopped working, so it looks like Synthroid is the latest addition to my orchestra.  That harmonious mixture of pharmacological wonders that keep this fine tuned machine running like it’s not supposed to.  Honest to the gods I swear I only have two or three more viable parts they can remove without shutting the whole system down.  It’s like taking apart a bike and having a few pieces left over.  Must have not needed them anyway.

Question for the ether, How does one go about meeting people to form friendships?  Before I got sick I had lots of friends.  I had work friends, and after work friends and combination of both kind of friends.  During my illness and my recovery, my friends thinned out.  At first it was a small number of not returned calls and cancelled plans.  As I got sicker, the friends got thinner.  I’m not blaming them.  I’m sure I wasn’t much to be around back then.  Still had some die-hard friends though.  Now that it’s going on six years even the die-hard friends have gone on living their own lives.  Work, kids, commitments, they all just carry on.  I know I’m also to blame.  For a long while, I didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything.  I had no strength, I was sick.  Now t hat I’m getting better again, I’m looking to do things with friends, I look around and I really don’t have any.

I have my husband whom I love and who would do anything, go anywhere with me, but who is not female.  Sometimes you need girl talk.  There is a lavender festival in Armada this weekend and I’d love some girl time in a good smelling place, but I don’t know anyone else who would enjoy it that lives close enough to enjoy it with.

OK, enough pity party.  I’m off to work on my crap room for a while.  I can put in about an hour a day and it still looks like I haven’t done shit in there.  It will get better.  I am taking pictures this time so I have before and after.  I can see it finished in my mind’s eye and it’s pretty.  I hope it turns out that nice in reality.

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