Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘sweat’

I do believe that I hate Cancer,


chemo, medications and all that goes with it, including the side-effects.  Especially the side effects.

It’s 3:10 in the freaking morning.  I just woke up from a so/so sleep freezing cold but dripping with sweat.  A body is not made to sweat while it’s cold.  It’s just not normal.  The fronts of your thighs are not supposed to sweat, not natural.

I know it’s because it’s chemo day tomorrow.  Try to think of me at 3:30 and whisper a hope that the chemicals will be kind this time.

I’m starting to get used to the throwing up every morning again.  It’s like riding a bike I guess.  You just never forget.  Actually had energy yesterday and got some housework and laundry done.  Now I can’t sleep.  I ache all over, the cold has seeped into my bones and I have a rocking headache.

Right now, I’m off to find a Vicodin for pain, a Compazine for the nausea that will follow the Vicodin.  But at least I’ll sleep for awhile.

Another bad day, and it’s only just begun.


Lost my pain patch last night while I was sleeping.  I swear, I can put 20 lbs of surgical tape on these things and they just fall off.  So, woke up this morning in the beginnings of a full-blown withdrawal.  Anyone who has gone through medical withdrawal knows it’s not very fun.

With me, I start with the cold sweats and chills.  I can’t get warm, and I can’t stop sweating.  My feet feel like blocks of ice, but I can’t put socks on because they are sweating so much that my socks get damp in minutes then it’s worse.  My entire body feels “fluttery”, like a leaf in a breeze.  I’m shaking and my brain is muddled.  I know I slept, but not very well.  I remember waking up several times just so cold my teeth were chattering, but I changed twice cause I was soaked.

I’m off now to get something to eat and to take a nap.  A bad night wears me out more than a bad day does, every time.

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