Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘sick’

A week full of highs and lows.


Spent last Saturday at an indoor water-park in Dundee, MI celebrating my grandsons 6th birthday.  I get such a kick out of watching the two kids together.  They will just spontaneously hug, for no reason.  None of my sibs and I were that close.  You only touched each other if you had to.

Needless to say, I spent half of Sun, all Mon. and most of Tues. in a viral induced coma, only interrupted by the repeated and prolonged runs to the bathroom combined with the grasping of the trash can like a lifesaver.  I feel like I have Rubber made stamped on my forehead.  I just can’t be around large groups of people anymore.  Every time I do I get sick.  Even grocery shopping I catch the flu.

After taking the usual three days to recover.  You know the days you mope around trying to connect head, stomach and legs all together again.  It was during that time frame when the neuropathy kicked into high gear.  I can’t sleep at night because of it and I’m useless during the day cause I can’t sleep at night.  It’s a catch 22 made in hell.  I’m going to up-dose on my Vicodin tonight to see if it helps at all.  I’m running on false energy today and tomorrow is Easter Sunday and we will be spending it with Tom, Carla and the girls.  The baby girls will be there too so I know I’m gonna be down again next week.  But to get to spend time with babies is so worth it.

And now for the high of the year, for me at least.  I did something today that I never in a million years thought I would ever do.  I spent more money on two concert tickets then I used to make in a two-week pay period.  But what tickets.  I got to score, thanks to my loving and very understanding of my love of rock husband, tickets to P!NK.  And not just any tickets, main floor section C, row 6 on the inside isle tickets.  Platinum club seats.  I can’t wait till November.  Joe knew how bummed I was that I missed the tickets for her show in April, when I asked he didn’t bat an eye.   I  get to see her P!NKness herself and that is so worth it.  So I’ll give up some crap I wanted done in the backyard this year, so what, I’m going to see P!NK.  Um, did I tell you I scored prime tickets to P!NK, the rock goddess and legend?

OK, I’m off for a hot soak and bed.  It’s been a day it has been.  Good night to all, safe dreams.

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Sunday brushes off the dust of another week


New photo’s of an old room for your entertainment.  M & M came by last week and helped tape and paint the “horrid white room” and turned it into a picture of spring.  I love the Midori tone to this color.  It makes the room shine.

pre green room

M paintingB paintingM PaintingAlmost Green Room

Finished Green room

Finished green room1

This is the almost finished product.  I’m re-varnishing the floors right now, then we can put the furniture back in.  I need to get curtains and a comforter to match the room, put up a few pictures and some knickknacks on the shelves and we’ve got ourselves a great spare bedroom.

This is a beautiful glass piece we got to add to the living room.  I love it.  Made in Spain from recycled glass we picked it up for next to nothing.  We got 75% off the 50% off the 20% off the original price.  I love Art Van for things like this.  They buy tons of it to make their showrooms look good then move them to a corner of the Clearance Center where they keep getting marked down.  Most people wouldn’t have looked twice at this bottle #1, cause it’s huge, it stands even with our fourth stair riser, #2 it was a weird color in the store.  The fluorescent lighting made the white swirls a dingy grey color.  I almost passed it by too. Something in it interested me though so I took it outside to see it in natural light and it was beautiful, heavy, but beautiful.  I love buying special things for my home and not paying a small fortune for them.

New Vase 

And now my favorite part of the show….. my Orchid garden.  How wonderful it is to wake up every morning to see this amazing array of orchids.  Every morning greeted by the promise of spring, especially with the thick snowfall in the background.

Orchids

Orchids

It was a rough end to the week.  We had everything planned to head south to visit C & L and the Grands but I got stomach flu again.  I even volunteered to go to the doctors it was so bad.  I knew what she would say, “Plenty of liquids, B.R.A.T. diet (banana, rice, applesauce, toast)”.  I usually fight going to the doctors but I’ve been so sick so often lately it’s starting to bother me.  I know my immune system is shot which makes it less enjoyable to go out and do things when you know you are going to end up sick in a few days.  Even something as an innocuous as going to a comedy club will bring me to my knees.  It just sucks.

OMG, new reality show alert, or maybe it’s old and I’m just behind, whatever.  It’s a reality show about biker gangs and their funny wars.  The show I watched showed rival gangs  fighting over the colors they get to wear.  Big, tough, biker dudes gonna duke it out over the colors.  Seems kinda girly to me.  So did the fight scenes.  I’ve fought tougher girls in the day.

Nine am dentist appointment tomorrow.  Last two fillings and a cleaning.  Yippee.  Then Thurs. I get my CT scan after three months without chemo.  I’ve enjoyed the three months free of chemicals, but I’m ready to do what my doctor tells me to do.  And that’s stretching for me.  Giving that much power to someone.  Scary.

OK, I’m off to seek refuge from this hectic mind whirl with slumber, or perhaps a brownie then slumber.  Peace out all.

Wood floors and painting walls and cancer decisions.


There is nothing more satisfying to me than a clean, re-finished floor.

Since we got new furniture in the living room I thought it was time to do the annual two-year floor re-finish.

I have hardwood floors in both my dining room and the living room.  Every two years I scoot all the furniture into one corner and “redo” my floors.  Starts with a good vacuum.  All the corners done, the baseboard swept.  baseboard get a little tlc with some all-purpose cleaner.  Then go over it with a swiffer twice, using clean pads each time.  Then two washes with Orange Glo floor cleaner.  It deep cleans the wood and removes the old waxy buildup.  The final step is two coats of Orange Glo Wood floor re-finisher.  Sounds like a lot of work but it is so worth it.  Your floors gleam with this warm glow that makes the room look inviting.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA                        OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

We are also tackling finishing the guest bedroom.  Moved the small furniture out and have prepped the walls and ceiling for primer.  Here is a quick look at the room as it looked this morning:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA     OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA    OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The dresser and desk will be painted white and will remain in the room.  The bed that we purchased for the room is a twin sleigh bed.  We also purchased a white night stand to match.  I can’t wait to put green paint to the walls.  Tomorrow I tape.

Only a few more weeks till my next chemo.  It just looms over me.  I can’t decide if I was smart or stupid to wait the two months between treatments.  Not a decision made lightly .  It’s wonderful to have energy to do things around the house.  I’m loving not throwing up every morning.  My brain is clear and my decisions are sound.  It’s kind of nice to have an appetite again.  I do sleep a lot due to a too low a dose of thyroid medication, but we are working on that and that is helping also.

It’s late.  I’m off to bed.  Tomorrow I think I’ll tell the tale of the deer in the tub.

Have a great night all.  See you in the morning.

Someone slap me so I can sleep.


It’s been weeks.  I’m up all night, then sleep all day.  Or I sleep all night and nap all day.  I don’t know if it’s the weather or my medications interacting or what but I can’t seem to catch enough sleep.  I’m getting nothing done and am feeling the major guilt of leaving everything for everyone else to do.  Day  before yesterday I slept till 2:30 in the afternoon and I was back in bed by eight.

So yesterday I went to the doctors to discuss this problem, cause it is a problem.  We reviewed my medications, did blood work to check for Epstein Barr and for Jaundice.  Checked my white and reds and platelets.  Everything is normal.  My reds and whites are better than they have been in five years.  My platelets are at 25 which is almost normal for a chemo patient.  My meds (all twelve different kinds) checked out, although we decided to stop the Ambien.  According to all that I’ve read they become less effective the longer you are on them.  After six years, I’m past the point of even using them anymore.  So we will see if that changes anything.  I’m supposed to be more active during the day too.  Yep, it’s 4 below outside and sleeping and I’m supposed to go for a walk.  Not gonna happen.

Went out with mom and we both got hair cuts.  Feels good not to be shaggy.  But I don’t like places that don’t wash your hair first.  I’m paying the same price, but they just spray it wet with ice water and cut from there.  I want the shampoo, the scalp massage, the yummy smelling conditioner.  I figure I’m paying for it, I want it.  Last time I go to this place.

Then went to Home Depot with Joe.  Picked up the paint color for the last bedroom that needs to be redone.  It’s Behrs Sweet Midori 420B-5.  I wish I could snap a photo from their website but they have it blocked.  It’s an amazing green, I can’t wait to start painting.

Finally getting smarter about cleaning a two-story house.  Up to this point, I’ve done fairly well.  I have cleaning products in all the bathrooms so I don’t have to carry them from room to room.  I keep supplies of towelling, vinegar, baking soda and liquid soap upstairs and down. So between yesterday and today Joe and I have gotten both a Swiffer sweeper and duster, with refills, to put in the upstairs linen closet.  Now we don’t have to remember to drag them up and down stairs when we are using them.  One more step on the efficiency ladder.

Put on a sweatshirt from 1996 today.  It’s from a whale watching trip we took while on vacation with the kids.  One of the best times.

Off for dinner.  Gonna nosh on leftovers today.  We’ve had take out all week so there are tons of bits to pick from.  Have a wonderful night all.

 

I’m Home!!!


And all that good crap.  I’m just glad I made it home with all my parts intact.

Really, I was glad Joe took me in.  Looking back, three weeks ago I got stomach flu which ended me in the hospital for several days.  I had a week to get better and we went to a dinner party and three people sat next to me and started a conversation which firmly ended when I stood up after they announced “I have a terrible chest cold, don’t you hate coming to parties ill?”  No, what i truly hate are people who come to parties ill knowing that they may infect others who can’t fight it as well as you.  (I honestly don’t think I was that polite, I really don’t.)

Monday was spent feeling generally crappy.  Moped around the house, bitched, whined and complained.  When I wasn’t  bitching I was sleeping.  My chest felt like it had an iron band wrapped around it.  Not good.  Went to doctors and he (oh e oh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla, bing bang) Sorry reverted to childhood there.  Thinking witch doctor.  Anyway, he tells me I’m sick, I have an infection in my lung.  He gives me a shot in the butt and a prescription for some Mega Antibiotics.  I go home, back to sleep.

Tuesday, I came down with Pleurisy.  This is an infection of the  Plenum, the lining around the lung that protects it from the ribs. This infection causes extreme pain when you cough, sneeze, inhale.  And I had to cough.  My lungs were still full of fluid, more like peanut butter, and I had to get it out.  Every time I coughed I had to grab my ribs on my left side and squeeze as tight as I could, lean into the wall and hope it passed quickly.  It didn’t.

Wednesday, I fought it.  Coughing was becoming a contact sport with the wall.  I was fighting to clear this crud up.  I  even tried that crap, you know, the one with the green snots dancing till dawn then getting kicked out.  Waste of $8  if you ask me.  I was up all night coughing with a stabbing pain in my side.

Thursday early, I finally Vicodined out for a few hours, but when I woke up, it was so much worse.  I could barely draw a shallow breath.  I called Joe, told him I needed to get to ER now.  Put on my comfy socks and sweats, grabbed my hospital blanket put my slippers on and sat down to wait for him.  We get to the hospital at 10:30 am and are immediately taken into the ER.  I think the fact that my regular physician was told I was going in and he greased the skids a bit.  By the time we got there all I could take were shallow breaths.  My pulse ox was down to 85 and it was kinda scary.

By this time I am in the capable hands of my doctors and everything else until Sunday afternoon is a blur.  And unless you have pictures and can prove it in a court of law, then I’m denying, denying, denying.  I know I was sick enough to get two pints of blood and for the nurses to be really cheery around me.  Or maybe that was just me being my charming self.

Either way, I’m home now.  My own bed feels like heaven, and although I do miss the room service, it’s good to be home.

 

Had a lovely visit from two parts of my heart


C stopped by with the kids and did so much to brighten my day.  They came up for the weekend so L could run in the Detroit marathon.  We were going to meet at a cider mill on Saturday and spend some time together, but Saturday dawned damp and cold so we passed on that and they went to C’s moms to spend the night.  Sunday morning it was so wonderful to see their smiling faces.  They brought me the most beautiful flowers to make me feel better, and I did.  Isla brought me pink mums just cause they were pink and she’s all about the pink.   Harp got me multi-colored poms, “Cause they have lots of colors, like your tattoo’s”.  When Isla was born I added two new tat’s to my collection.  Right over my heart are two stars.  One pink, one blue.  Neither have outlines because there are no boundaries as to where they will go, they are not shaped perfect because no-one is perfect and it should never be expected.  Perfection is an illusion anyway.  Anyway, I carry them with me everywhere.  I was so afraid I wouldn’t get to see them.  The house just rang with laughs and footsteps and giggles and shouts of “Gramma B where is…..”.  It’s funny, they never ask Joe where things are.

I’m afraid my hostessing skills have digressed in the past several years.  I guess when you get used to everyone doing for you, you forget that it’s your job in your home.  All I wanted to do was play with the kids.

Got Oscars paperwork in the mail today.  A certificate with a gold seal and a special tag that he gets to wear.  He is an official Therapy Dog.

Wow, just took a good stretch.  It’s been a week since I’ve been able to stretch my arms and shoulders.  That felt so good I think I go into the living room and have a good thorough muscle pulling stretch.  Get the blood moving and circulating.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

I’ve been sick for so long, I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be “sick”


 

Woke up Saturday feeling pukey and puny as usual.  As the day went on, I continued feeling worse.  I’ve actually come down with a cold, flu type illness and it’s not a pretty feeling.  My morning worship of the porcelain goddess has turned into a two-day affair.  Fever, chills, the whole 9 yards as they say.  This is actually the first I’ve been at the computer all day.

Good news though.  Oscar passed his third test and is an official Therapy dog.  We can now visit nursing homes and cancer centers.  He loves it.  He was tugging me into rooms on Friday.  It’s so funny cause we are testing with a German Shepard (100lbs), an Afghan (60 lbs) and a Labradoodle (70 lbs) and in the middle of the pack is Oscar, weighing in at 19 lbs.  We evoke lots of smiles walking down the halls.

Closed the pool today, well, Joe and the kids did.  I could only sit and watch.  I’m sad to see the season end.  Even though I didn’t use it half enough this year, it’s still lovely to look at.

I’m off to bed.  I ache in every muscle and bone. Don’t like this flu business.  I’ll pass next time.

 

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