Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘pool’

I’ve been sick for so long, I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be “sick”


 

Woke up Saturday feeling pukey and puny as usual.  As the day went on, I continued feeling worse.  I’ve actually come down with a cold, flu type illness and it’s not a pretty feeling.  My morning worship of the porcelain goddess has turned into a two-day affair.  Fever, chills, the whole 9 yards as they say.  This is actually the first I’ve been at the computer all day.

Good news though.  Oscar passed his third test and is an official Therapy dog.  We can now visit nursing homes and cancer centers.  He loves it.  He was tugging me into rooms on Friday.  It’s so funny cause we are testing with a German Shepard (100lbs), an Afghan (60 lbs) and a Labradoodle (70 lbs) and in the middle of the pack is Oscar, weighing in at 19 lbs.  We evoke lots of smiles walking down the halls.

Closed the pool today, well, Joe and the kids did.  I could only sit and watch.  I’m sad to see the season end.  Even though I didn’t use it half enough this year, it’s still lovely to look at.

I’m off to bed.  I ache in every muscle and bone. Don’t like this flu business.  I’ll pass next time.

 

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And the good news is……


Apparently I don’t have any masses in my throat that she could feel (the ENT I mean).  It dawned on me just how long I’ve been her patient today.  About a year after first seeing her she got pregnant.  Her daughter just turned 17.  Gotta love doctors you can trust for so long.  Come to think of it, I’ve been seeing my Gen Physician for 19 years.  I’m a firm believer in long-term.

Anyway, the bad news is, apparently the radiation has damaged my thyroid and it may not be working anymore.  Which would explain my lack of appetite, exhaustion, upset stomach, headache, strange sleeping patterns, just a ton of things.  All of which can he helped with the addition of another pill to my arsenal of medications to be taken daily.    So if that is the sum total of my bad news for the week, I’ll take it.  And, if they need to, they can biopsy with a needle.

I’ve counted and since 2007 I have had nine major surgeries.  All of them etched into my brain like mini videos. The pre-op room, the doctors and nurses and the joking.  I always like to leave them laughing.  Being wheeled into surgery and joking with the doctors.  The one horrible surgery where I had to be awake and I begged them not to strap my arms down.  I’m so claustrophobic and that would have killed me.  I promised that doctor the moon and the stars if I could just keep my arms crossed on my chest.  He finally got a nurse to agree to sit at my head and watch my arms so I didn’t move.  It was very comforting feeling her hand on my arm through the whole thing.  Then the post-op.  Everyone all concerned and worried till you walk down and pee by yourself.  Then you can go home.  Out of the nine they only kept me after for three of them.  Love intensive care.  Hate being on the cancer ward.  I have horror stories of sharing rooms with old sick people.  (one of my roomies farted once and I gagged for three hours.  The smell wouldn’t leave.  Nurses kept spraying and nothing worked.  Shudder remembering).

Oh, but I’m forgetting, I no longer have a black hole in my back yard.  We have uncovered the pool!!!!  The new furnace works wonderfully.  I fully plan on using it this weekend.  Cooking out and hanging out.  Most of my flowers are in their pots.  I have an extra low maintenance yard.  Keeping the pool cleaned is the hardest part, but I do love vacuuming it.  It’s so quiet and peaceful in the morning.  I can stop and think and just be for a short time.  I love watching Oscar play “George of the Jungle” with the Yucca and the other bushes that we have.  He stalks ground squirrels and chipmunks with ferocious dedication.

I’m off to grab a snack and just chill for the rest of the evening.  I hope everyone makes the most of every day.

One is the lonliest number


For the past six years, since we’ve owned this house, we have been graced by a pair of mallard ducks every spring.  The ducks play in the water in the cover of the pool and eat all the little insects that hover over the gross and murky waters of the cover.  Eventually they make a nest in the front yard, lay a few eggs, then abandon it to make a new nest elsewhere.  I do believe our nest was a decoy for predators since no effort was ever made to hide it.  They were a beautiful pair.   Every day for weeks on end they would visit, make the dogs nuts, then just disappear as spring faded into summer.

Last night the duck arrived alone.  She called and  called for her drake but he never arrived.  She spent the entire night alone, calling for him.  I wanted to cry for her.  She sounded so alone and mournful.  She was still alone this morning when I woke up, pacing by the shrubs, calling.

I know he’s probably OK and off draking some other duck, but she touched a cord last night.

I hope she finds another drake soon.

Ever throw a party…..


And it absolutely Rocked!

And a HUGE shout out to everyone who came and helped and made me feel special (and not the short bus kind either). You guys really made me feel part of a family not just part of the family.

Now that the secret is out, we threw a surprise 60th birthday party for my husband yesterday. For the longest time I wasn’t sure if I could handle a party but I’ve been feeling pretty good lately, so early in the week I put the word out that it was on and OMG, everyone I called, took over. It was wonderful. The house was packed with friends and family. We all worked so hard to surprise him. Thanks M and C for helping with the deception, I owe you guys big time. He had no clue till they pulled in the driveway.

I went to bed so tired, but it was the best kind of tired. Hugs abounded and the fairies were out in abundance. Every time I turned around, things were done. I love my fairies. When the last person left, and I looked around, all was clean, put away, stored till next party. Dishes washed, garbage out. It looked like I’d had 2 people over instead of over 40. I Love you my friends.

It felt kind of odd being treated as a sick person in your own home, but every time I tried to do something, I would be physically, painfully reminded that I am a sick person (I refuse to use the word invalid. ‘Cause invalid and invalid are spelled the same, they don’t mean the same) and the task would be taken out of my hands with a loving rejoinder to go sit and talk. I’ve never done that at a party before. I’m always the one running around making sure every thing was done. What a blessing to be able to relax.

I also put the word out that I want my home ringing with laughter this summer. I want the pool to be used, and the yard to ring with laughter. Last time I was ill was the same year the pool collapsed. So not only was I dealing with chemo and radiation. I had a huge mud hole in my backyard for four months. Not a time for friends and laughter. Besides, If there are people, there will be food, and I will eat. And anything to take my mind off of life……..

So, if you didn’t get the word, here it is. Come on over. Bring the kids, your suits, towels, pool toys, sunscreen and whatever you want to drink and come on over. I can’t guarantee brilliant conversation, but I can promise laughter and hugs and a place to hang out. And if you’re from out-of-town, call and I’ll have a room ready. If it’s a good day, we’ll even go sightseeing (or at least to the dog park 🙂 )

It’s gonna be another good day today. Early dinner with my baby, then Rod Stewart and Stevie Nicks at JLA. I can’t wait. Then Joe has Mon. off to recover from the concert.

I off to bed again. Need to rest up for tonight.

Huggs to you all. Have a blessed day.

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