Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘Pet’

It’s been a long day


It’s only 11:00 in the morning and I’m beat.  Spent the last two days cleaning out an apartment.  I have a really hard time understanding how someone can move into a perfectly clean apartment and in one year make it so dirty that I’m disgusted by it.

How can you live for a year and never clean your floors, toilet or tub?  Does it thrill you to know that I have to scrub your boyfriends piddle off the toilet and the floor?  The tub was so dirty but  you could tell took a lot of baths by the layers of rings around the tub.  (Eeeewwww Totally gross to take a bath in a dirty tub)

And really, did you actually eat in the kitchen next to the overflowing litter box? I know it was overfull a lot because of the mess on the floor.  And those hanging things in the corners of your ceiling are called cobwebs.  If you don’t wipe them down occasionally they get coated with your cigarette smoke and get nasty.  BTW, the smoking thing, this is a non-smoking apartment, did you think I wouldn’t smell the stink when I walked in?  And you have the nerve to ask for a refund?  Bitch, take a reality check.  I’m the one that’s going to have to spend two days just cleaning up what you left behind.  So glad you broke your lease.  Kiss my ass.

Now that that’s out, as you can probably tell, I’ve not had a good ending to the week.

My neurologist put me on Lyrica and what a difference.  The pain in my back has gone from a 9 to a 3.  3 is livable, 9 is torture.  The only problem that I have is that is makes me jumpy and almost manic.  So we are going back to Neurotin.

I want to share some photo’s of Oscar that I took this week.  He’s such a ham.

I think I’m off now to take a nap.  Have a wonderful day all.

Whoops, I’ve got to share with you.  I’m getting my newest tattoo on Monday.  I can’t wait.

Why do we let our fears rule?


Yesterday I was committed to go to a Beads of Courage event with a bunch of other bead makers from  a crossed  Michigan.  I had everything packed and ready to go when the old insecurities reared their ugly heads.  What if I don’t know anyone?  What if everyone is better than me?  What if I don’t find anyone to hang around with?  I swear at times like this, I feel like I’m back in elementary school.  I can actually make myself sick.  I build the stress and concerns up so much that I talk myself out of going.  I know I missed a wonderful opportunity to bond with other bead makers.  Although I did round-up 700 beads to donate, I just hurt myself by hiding out and not participating.  I was also supposed to go to a guild meeting today.  But, because I was embarrassed about not showing yesterday I didn’t go today. It’s like a snowball effect.

The only commitment that I actually kept last was taking Oscar for his first two evaluations with Therapy Dogs Inc.  We have one more eval on this coming Friday and then we will be certified for therapy dogs.  He really enjoys interacting with people, although he would be happier if I didn’t have to pick him up to see people in their beds.  He loves being cuddled, hates being picked up.

So I’m off to nap again.  When I can’t deal with life, I nap.  Hey, it works for me.

Here for the amusement of the Gods


I swear that’s all I’m here for anymore.  To keep them entertained.  They gave me four wonderful days last week.  Then struck me down this week with three days of sleeping and feeling all around crappy.  I’m so cold right now.  Deep into the bone cold.  The kind of cold that only chemo patients know.

Nothing in the house is getting done.  The laundry is piling up, Joe ran the vacuum today for me.  I didn’t even wake up till 11:30 this morning and have slept all day in my chair.  I’d rather sleep in the bed, but then Oscar couldn’t snuggle with me.  I do wish he was less Jack Russell and more Chi in the way he cuddles.  It has to be on his terms.  He’d rather sit alone on the stairs than to spend time with humans.  When he needs us, he knows where we are.  There are days when I really miss Mo.  Sure he was a nippy little shit, but he loved me.  He was a cuddle bum.  Anywhere, anytime.  If you sat down, he was in your lap, smiling like he’d just won the Irish lottery.  If I wouldn’t have been so sick at the time, I would have fought harder to keep him.  At the time, I felt that I had done all I could, I knew he was a great little dog for the right people.  I just can’t stand the fact that after a year, he is still in a foster home waiting adoption.  About once a month I check and my heart tears a little more when I see he’s still out there, waiting for a forever home.   I should have kept him.  I’m such a dumbass sometimes.

Well, I can tell I’m not feeling well.  I’m getting all maudlin about a dog I gave up, but man, I still miss that little face.

I think I’m going to get some toast and jam then take a hot bath.  I’m almost ready to call it a night (day/night).  My spine hurts so bad.  I sit with tears running down my face most days.  I can’t stop them.  I just deal with them.

Good night everyone, may the stars shine down brightly wherever you are.

B

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