Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘Oncologyst’

The hamster is back on his wheel.


A couple of weeks ago I had an MRI on my upper back to see if my arthritis has gotten worse.  My anesthesiologist wanted me to have one done prior to giving me my next epidural.  Since it wasn’t my oncologist ordering the test I had to have it done at the regular hospital instead of the Cancer Center where I’m used to going.  So different techs, different radiologists reading the scans.  The anesthesiologist seemed satisfied and gave me my last epidural without any problems.

Last week, however, I went to my oncologist for my annual blood work and checkup.  He looked at the results of the MRI and told me they reported a spot on my right lung.  He’s not sure if this is a spot that has been there, as a result of my prior surgery and it’s just being seen by new eyes, or it’s something new and we need to be concerned again.

So, the hamster is back on the wheel.  The “what ifs” are flying around my tiny cranial cavity.

OK.  we have a CT scan scheduled for when I return from vacation and the oncologist a week later for the results.  So for two weeks this is going to prey on my mind.

Light a candle for me.

So much going on, let’s catch up.


First of all, I hope your weekends were wonderful.  Full of new adventures and excitement.

This past week has flown by.  Between sleeping, doctors appointments, tests, sleeping, shopping and napping, I don’t know where the time went.  Wednesday I torched all morning till mom’s shows were over (about 2:00).  She does like her soaps.  Then I packed her up and took her to Hershey’s shoes to buy her a lighter pair of walking shoes.  I’ve been terrified that she was going to trip and fall over her old shoes, they weighed about 5 lbs a piece.  She was cute.  After she tried them on the salesman reached to remove them.  She stood up so fast I thought she would knock him over.  “Nope,” she said, “I’m wearing these “to go””.  And she almost skipped out of the store.  It was a beautiful day outside and the outing did us both good.  Getting out of the house is always a good thing.

Thursday Joe and I went on a mini holiday to the Toledo Zoo.  It a good compact zoo, lots to see, everything close together.  We both seem to remember it a lot nicer many years ago when we used to take the kids there.  But we had a nice day.  Took our time wandering the paths, taking pictures of the animals.

 

The weekend went by smoothly, got a lot of cleaning done.

Then around rolls Tuesday.  I had an early  Neurologist appointment who has just been kind of thrown into  my history.  He got the cliff notes.  So it could be one of many things, but the for-runners are carpel tunnel or a miss-fire in the mass of nerve endings where they leave the spinal column.  If that is the case it is causing Neuropathy and I don’t know what they can do for it.  All I know is that my arm constantly feels like it’s waking up and tingling.  I don’t even trust that hand to carry important things anymore.

Then I have Chemo.  Another new doctor.  This guy is really fun.  Older than dirt, knows nothing about you or your history.   Two hours later I’m finally hooked up to me meds and I’m just cranky.  I’m also starting to feel like a pincushion for a quilting club.

It’s late and it’s taken me many days to finish this post.  I’ve been in a cleaning frenzy that comes from stressing out.  Now I’m tired and I want to go to bed.  Hugs to you and to everyone you have contact with tomorrow.

Peace, Out.

So much going on that sharing is scary.


Went to a rehabilitation therapist today for the arthritis in my back.  He is now ordering an MRI to be done of my spine due to the increasing neuropathy in my right arm.  It’s to the point now where I feel nothing in my thumb and only some in my index and middle fingers.  My arm falls asleep at a moments notice.   My right hand will start to shake uncontrollably and I’m starting to drop things.  I have to admit this to everyone otherwise I will keep pretending that everything is fine.  I can’t anymore.

I’m glad I spin my mandrels with my left hand and apply glass with my right.  I can set a glass rod down till feeling comes back, can’t set a hot bead down “for a minute”.

OK so I got a very painful steroid/lidocaine shot in my back to hold me over till he can determine if an epidural is necessary or if there is anything else he can do.  So I’m scheduled for an M.R.I and a C.T. scan next Monday (gonna need a pill for this one).  Then I see a neurologist on the 25th, then back to this RT that I saw today to see what’s going on.  So till the middle of next month it’s one test after another and the hurry up and wait game.  I hate that game.

Meanwhile I’m keeping myself busy.  Tonight Oscar and I go for his first testing as a therapy dog.  There is an entire checklist that he has to go through.  I hope he does well.  Then Saturday it’s out to Brighton for torch time for the BOC, Sunday is a guild meeting in the afternoon.  Then I need to get busy making beads for the bead bonanza in October.  Phew, when I jump back into life, I don’t fool around.

I’m off for an afternoon nap to let this shot take effect.  Hugs to everyone.

The very best sight, the very best sound, and the very best feeling.


The very best sound is the sound of my house ringing with laughter of family and friends.  From elderly to infant, we had them all at our house  Saturday.  It was a perfect day.  Hot, with a bit of breeze, the pool was perfect, the food was amazing (thanks again for grilling C.)  Everyone brought something to pass and the variety was wonderful.  Several times I just stopped and listened and found myself wishing for things that can never be.  I got way too much sun and slept for two days after, but that’s OK.  It felt wonderful.

The best sight was waking up Sunday morning to my granddaughters sweet face peering over the edge of the bed and asking in her sweet voice, “can horsey wake up now?”.  We have a bouncy horse with springs that she loves.  She will get up all night and bounce on that horse, so Sat. I put horsey to sleep in my room.  He couldn’t wake up till I did.  She did wait till she heard Joe talking to me.  Such a sweetie.

The best feeling was the hug my grandson gave me as they were leaving.  I told him I needed a good long cuddle and he held me for at least three minutes.  That’s a long time for a five-year old.  He smells so good.  No matter what, he always smells the same.

Today I went in had some blood work done to test my thyroid to see if medication can correct its issues.  So, I find out Friday.  I did weigh in at 118.8 today so I’m up three pounds.  Man, I work hard for those pounds.  Since I’m never hungry, and have a hard time swallowing when I am, I tend not to eat much.  So every morning I make my big ass cup of coffee with three heaping scoops of carnation instant breakfast and a 1/2 cup of whole milk.  I need to look into a protein powder since protein adds muscle.  At least no-one told me I was “too skinny”.  I hate that.  They remember me at 189, so to them, I’m too thin.  I think I’m fine.

I’m going to call it a night.  Sweet dreams everyone.  I’m in the process of learning how to crochet a sock.  We will see how it turns out.

 

 

I have minions, and didn’t even know it.


I’ve been noticing little things done around the house  that I didn’t do, but am so glad that they got done.  It has to be my minions.  Like today.  I woke up at 5:30 this morning to throw up, noticed Joe was already up, so I went to find him.  We talked a few then I went back to bed, till 12:30.  While I was sleeping my wonderful minions did all the laundry (washing, drying and folding), emptied the dishwasher, washed the kitchen floor, cleaned the guest bath, stripped and washed mom’s sheets.  All done while I was sleeping.  My minions deserve a raise.  Or at least a good meal.  I do love my minions.

Yesterday was “spa day” here at my house.  Ruth came over and gave me a wonderful massage.  I felt like this:  

Only I can pay for a beating and truly enjoy it.  We have been working together for around ten years now so she knows every bump and knot that I got.  Thanks to her the incision that runs from under my right breast to the center of my back has absolutely no scar tissue buildup.  My surgeon was amazed at her results.  Usually, that incision results in a 1/2 inch of scarring on either side.  I have none.  There is a little dip where I was cut, but that’s it.  No gnarly lumps.

Caught Pat Benatar singing on a talk show this morning.  What a beautiful way to start the day.  Her voice is as clean and pure as it was thirty years ago.  Neil is just as good-looking as ever.  Joe took me to see her a couple years ago and she did wonders to fill my spirit.

I did find a really nice website.  Click Here to check it out.  It’s called Gratefulness.org.  On the toolbar running down the left side of the page there is a place to light a candle for someone you are thinking of and a place to write a thought.  You can pass it on for others or keep it private.  There is also a Labyrinth that I love.  I can spend hours there.

In case I forgot to share between Wed and today, the tumors are benign so we are leaving them alone for now.  I need to see my “regular” doctor for a thyroid exam to determine if medication will help or if removal is an option.  So, hooray for good news.

I’m off to grill some chicken legs.  I really need to get started setting up for the party next weekend.  Have a sweet evening all.  Butterfly kisses.

Yesterday dawned clear and bright


The birds were singing the sun was shining.  Joe and I went out Monday and picked up some plants for the front flower bed.  Two years ago, I had him rip out a bunch of 20-year-old shrubs that were on their last legs anyway.  So it’s been pretty barren landscape wise.  Although one full quarter is blooming voraciously with things I put in last year.  And the sporadic hostas that got shoved in are doing well.  Even the peony that I thought wouldn’t make it has come back.

Now to get the back yard done.  And it all starts with a tarp.  I have my flowers for my pots, just can’t fill my pots yet cause they are being used as weights for the big black tarp.  We were gonna remove the tarp today, but of course, it rained all night so the tarp is again full of water.  Cant remove the tarp till the waters gone.  So, I’m gonna get that pump humming today.  I want to see beautiful blue water.  Not some black pit.

On the cancer front.  Went for chemo yesterday.  The oncologist said that my C/T scan was normal and showed no evidence of recurring cancers.  But since my thyroid is still swollen and he doesn’t know if it’s scar tissue from the radiation or something else so I’m off to the ENT to have that lovely scope threaded through my nose and down my throat. Yippee.  Oh and it’s almost time again for the GT twins, upper and lower.  Just to make sure there are no holes anywhere.  And, if I’m not mistaken it’s time to get squished and a visit to the lady doctor.  June is tune up month.  Even Oscar has his regular checkups in June.

Got some work done in my ETSY shop over the weekend.  Lots of new vessels listed.  If you like any, and yes, this is blatant advertising, but it’s my stuff so shut up, use coupon code VESSELS512.  It’s only good till the end of the month.  Here are some tempters.

 

Had a kind of me day today.


I’m nervously waiting for the results of my last C/T scan.  My nails are chewed to a nub.  I have the attention span of a three-day old puppy.  I so don’t want this back, and what if it’s like last time where the tumor didn’t show on the C/T but was found “accidentally” during a biopsy.  Guess it’s the one time a doctors accident actually benefited me.

I was talking to C the other day on the phone and it dawned on me that in the past 5 years I’ve had 9 major surgeries.  By major, I mean they put you under, make an incision and either put something in, but usually take parts out.  Another biopsy to my neck will really make me look like a slasher victim.  Kids already look at me funny.  My neck is the color of nicely cooked turkey, from the radiation, and the scars stand out like white lines.

Anyway, had a kind of spoil me day, again.  Joe wanted to look for furniture for his office, so we went to a couple of furniture stores, then to Joannes’ for a skirt pattern for me.  (I picked up the coolest material).  Then got my hair trim and my toes pedicured.  I now have bright purple toesies.

I am really learning to love my new iPad.  I’m sure that once the newness wears off, it won’t be so much of a time suck, but for now, I’m having fun playing and learning.  Can’t use it to update here though.  It doesn’t upload photo’s easily and I haven’t figured out how to include photo’s in posts and stuff.  I’m working on it.

I’m calling it a night.  Anyone want to send some white light and hugs for tomorrows results, all will be used whole heartedly.

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