Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘kids’

Take me out to the Ballgame


It was a cliff hanger folks.  Detroit was up 8-4, top of the ninth.  The other team scored three runs right away.  Luckily, the third pitcher they put out was able to get the job done.

The game was good, but it would have been so much better if it wasn’t 91 in the shade with hardly any breeze.  I think I dropped five pounds in water weight alone.

The best part of the game for me was playing “remember when” with the kids during the down times in the game.  We have taken so many long vacations and just short weekend trips and have seen some strange things.  All in all it’s been a pretty good run.  I do believe the good times outweighed the bad, and you can’t beat that with a stick.

 

Oh, I got my once a year corn dog today.  I know they are a disgusting mix of hot dogs and corn bread, deep-fried on a stick, but I love them.  So I allow myself one a year.  It’s a treat and a reward and a gross indulgence slathered in yellow mustard.

Well, I think I’ve had way too much fun and sun today.  My head is baking.

Oh, finally have a plan for the last bedroom.  I’m not gonna give too many hints away, but watch for some serious changes.

Have a great night all.  Sleep well.

Weekends were made for this.


Had a really nice weekend.  Very calm and relaxing.  My heart and spirit are happy and rested.  Now I have to rest the rest of me.

Drove down to Columbus to see C & L and the Grands.  I so love hanging out with them.  This time was so nice and calm.  Friday night we had chicken kabobs on the grill and rice and it was perfect.  I ate everything but one piece of onion.  It was so good.  Then we had a fire in the pit and just sat and talked.  I even stayed up till after 10:30.

Of course Saturday I slept in late.  Harp promptly  informed me that I was the house lazy bones, even Sissy beat me awake.  We spent the day just puttering around the house.  Hanging out outside while the kids came and went.  Watch C&L tear up their front grass.  Took tons of pictures and ninja videos of everyone.

 

Anyone have a good suggestion for a piece of software that will help me splice tons of little video clips into one movie?  I haven’t found one yet.  I have hundreds of video clips and need an easy software.

Anyway, Saturday night we went to dinner at a “famous German Sausage restaurant” in Columbus.  Joe and I had watch a Food Network show that featured this particular place and Joe thought it would be a good place to go for dinner.  It had looked really good on TV.  However, once we got there the choices looked kinda sad and overdone.  I ended up ordering off the menu, which turned out to be a really good idea since my sandwich was really good.  Smoked ham on a pretzel roll.  I ate half of it and was stuffed.  After, we took a great tour of downtown Columbus then went back home to hang out.

Sunday morning was beautiful.  Got up early and just enjoyed the house waking up.  I love listening to the little ones chatter away.  Harper made me a handmade card with hearts in it.  I’ve already hung it on my board downstairs.  He also gave me flowers and pictures.  I was so touched by how thoughtful they were.  It was a really great morning.

We e took our time getting home and just hung out for the rest of the night.  I think the most important thing about this weekend is that I forgot to be sick for a couple of days.  Little ones don’t care.  They just wanted Grandma B to run around the house with them and Oscar.

Today is putz in the backyard day and rest up.  Catching up on laundry and draining the pit.  Have a lovely day everyone.  Enjoy the sunshine.  Fill up on those wonderful D’s.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger


and that patience is a virtue, and good things come to those who wait.

Whoever “they” are, haven’t had to deal with doctors returning calls or getting test results back to find out if you are going to have to go to war once again.  That’s how I see battling cancer.  Going to war, armed with a pea-shooter and a roll of toilet paper.    I still have heard nothing about my results.  I really don’t want to wait till next Thursday to find out.  I find myself returning to self-mutilation when I’m stressed and I keep catching myself.

When I was young I was a cutter.  The feet were always a good place to cut cause you could hide them easily.  Broken glass and boyfriends names all done in a drunken stupor in my friends basements or at the playground.  I’ve gotten away from the open bleeding wounds, now I do it on a small-scale.  Like tearing the skin off from around my nails.  Or cutting my toenails till they bleed (the main reason for pedicures for me.  Stops me from doing that.)  Sometimes I catch myself sticking pins in my fingers to see how long I can stand it.  I am aware that I’m doing it.  And I am making every effort to stop doing it.  Stress adds to it.  And I’m about stressed to the max.

Really itching to get some backyard work done today.  Once the yard gets a bit warmer and drier.  We’ve had bad storms the past three nights that have really torn things up.  The weeds love it though.

I think I’ll take Oscar for a long walk today.  It’s kinda nice out 60 degrees or so.  Poor Joe can’t keep up with us anymore.  His knee tires him out after half a block.  Have to get Oz some exercise.  We are headed for Columbus to see C and L and the kids.  It seems like forever since I’ve seen them.  It’s supposed to be a nice weekend with rain on Sunday which is our return home day so that works.  Hopefully it will be nice enough to sit outside by the fire with hotdogs and a cold beer.  I so need this.  Traveling is hard, but the treasure at the end of the journey is worth it.  And Oscar loves playing with Ellie.

I’m off now to ponder the universe that exists only in my own bellybutton.  Have a great weekend everyone.  I hope the sun shines on all your picnics.

B

Yeah, it’s been awhile…


Since I’ve posted anything.  This last round of chemo combined with the cold damp weather is breaking me.  All I want to do is sleep.  I don’t want to eat.  I don’t want to go shopping or running around visiting.  I just want to get warm and to stop hurting all the time.   

I can’t wait for summer to get here.  Yesterday was a teaser here in Michigan.  It got warm enough to sit outside for about an hour and get a little yard work done.

It sucks having a 50 yr old brain in a 90 yr old body.  

I am working on feeling better, making plans for things to do next month.  I want Joe to take me to the sparkly house in Detroit so I can take some photo’s.  That’s an incentive to get me outside the house.  Once its warmer.  

I did bust a move on the fridge yesterday.  Looked at the expire date on everything and filled a trash bag with condiments that were purchased for one recipe then stored for eternity in the big cold box in the kitchen.  Sad to say that I had a jar of curry paste that expired in 2008.  I don’t like curry, I don’t remember buying curry and from the smell of it, it’s not something that I’d ever run out to taste.  Strange things sometimes manifest in my cupboards and fridge.

Went to Dearborn and tried a new restaurant yesterday.  A place called Fridas Mexican Cusine.  Good food, reasonable prices, but slow service overall.

I also managed to clean the bedroom today.  My side of the bed was starting to look like a bad Hoarders show.  Books stacked, empty chip bags, bowls, wrappers, two trash cans and a carpet that Oscar refused to walk on.  Took me all of 10 minutes to dust and straighten up, I don’t know why I put it off, just do.  Pushing the vacuum is something we both do so it doesn’t get too bad, but picking up my crap is my job.

I think I’m going to wander upstairs and take a hot bath, watch a movie, relax with a magazine.  

 

Nostalga kicked in today


remembering the Drive-in theatre.  Commerce Drive Inn

The last great money-saving, entertainment for parents of the 60’s and 70’s.  We would only go about once a month, but the planning that went into that venture was worthy of any military invasion.

Mom would set her quarters aside in a separate jar for the movie fund.  When we got to 5.00 We could start to plan.

First there was figuring out which theater to go to.  There were five in the area and they all showed different genre of movies each week.  Diane liked the dopey love stories, I wanted the horror movies and Steven wanted the latest cartoon.  We would have contests to see who got to pick.  Usually it was the one who hit the hardest.  I got to see a lot of horror movies in my youth.

Then there was the snack planning.  We would pop a big brown grocery bag full of popcorn and cover it with butter.  PB&J sandwiches and gallon jugs of Kool-aid.  Usually that day, I would walk the two miles to the party store, collecting bottles and cans along the way, so I could buy a candy bar to take with me.  Since Diane was too lazy to collect anything I always had to share with her, and that sucked, but mom made me.  So I’d get Milk duds or something with lots of little pieces so I would only have to give her a couple and claim it was half.

So it’s the evening of the movie.  We are all so excited.  Mom puts us in our jammies about an hour before sundown and loads up the car.  Pillows, blankets, cooler, popcorn, barf bag for Diane, socks and shoes for potty runs, and the ever popular and indispensable “mosquito coil”.  A wonderful hot burning item that you place in your vehicle and it produces the most irritating smoke and awful stench.  But it worked and you could keep the windows open and enjoy the air.

It would only take a few minutes to get to any of the five theatres near us.  For 5.00 a carload, the whole family could escape for four hours.

Sometimes we would take lawn chairs with us and sit out in front of the car.  The kids all knew each other so we would run and play if the movie was boring.  Which the first one always was.  The second movie was always the headliner and we loved it.  We got to stay up late, run around in our jams, eat fun food (which we never got at home) and play.

By the end of the night we usually had to search out our parents, they tended to gather into groups with their “grown up kool-aid and chat.  A lot of the time though, we were asleep by the end of the second movie and would wake up, tucked into bed, with a faint taste of popcorn on your tongue.  You smile, think about the wonders you saw earlier that night and start to wonder when the next 5.00 will be.

Another whirlwind weekend wizzes past.


It’s been a beautiful weekend thus far.  Last night Joe and I went to the Whitney for dinner.  Dinner was excellent, but I was a tad uncomfortable.  You see, there was a wedding reception taking place last night, so most of the evening was spent with flashes going off outside our dining room door from the photographer.  Lots of gathering and raised joyous voices in the vestibule.  I was expecting the gentle sounds of the piano player playing softly in the background and muted conversation.  Not a DJ introducing the next Mr. and Mrs. so and so.  And then witnessing the grand procession down the stairs into the entryway, complete with introductions and photos.

Just not the quiet dinner I envisioned, but I had a wonderful time anyway.  I did get to see some large women in crazy tight dresses and some shoes that Lady GaGa would kill for.  Why is it that large bottomed women think we want to see them in skin-tight, so short we can see your business, skirts and dresses is beyond me.

C and L came by with the kids this morning.  It’s always wonderful to see them.  I get such joy in my heart just sitting and watching them play.  And the way they naturally cuddle and touch is amazing.  We were laying on the kitchen floor, printing coloring pictures from my computer, and they were both snuggled up next to me.  Isla smells like heaven and is such a girly girl.  And Harper is just becoming such a little man.  He talks like a much older child.  His comprehension is so far beyond his four years.  I’m so in awe of them and the power they have over me.

Harper asked me today why I was sick and when I was gonna get better.  I just told him that I didn’t know why and didn’t know when, but I was working really hard at getting better.  He just said OK and went back to coloring.  A little while later he looked up and said, “just don’t get too sick on me, OK.”  I’m so in love with him.

Just hanging out playing cards with M now.  He’ll take off soon to go home and another weekend will come to a close.  The weeks take so long and the weekends just fly past.

I dread Tuesday more and more with every passing moment.  I don’t want to restart chemo.  I feel so healthy.  I think I’m off for a bath and an early bedtime.  Have a blessed evening everyone.

Busy, busy weekend. I need a vacation to recover.


I want to go back to Puerto Rico.  Sunshine, sea air, sand, surf.  All the really good “s” words.

But this weekend, busy as it was, couldn’t be replaced.  Saturday was all about sleeping till one in the afternoon then throwing up for the rest of the day, just took it easy and regained my balance.

Sunday was a get up early (for me) day.  Up dressed and out the door by 9:10.  Headed for the Auto Show with M and M.  The show was OK, had more fun chatting with M.  But Joe and M enjoyed their “guy” selves.  Then it was out to Mexican Town for a delicious dinner.  It was nice to just hang out and catch up.

Monday was another “early” day.  Up and on the road by 7:00am.  Drove to Grand Rapids to visit Joe’s nephew Mike and his girlfriend and their new baby.  She is sooo sweet, she’s gonna be a spoiler for sure.  The kids are doing well.  They have a nice house in a really cute subdivision.  Mike is the happiest I’ve ever seen him.  There is a glow in his eye that I’ve never seen before.  I think he’s found his “happy place”.

 

I’m off to work on pinning fabric squares together.  I’ve taken all the t-shirts that I’ve collected over the years and cut the logo’s off and am piecing them together for a quilt.  The other side will be done with Sweatshirt logo’s.  I’ll let you all know how they turn out.

Have a great day all

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