Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘Home’

Wood floors and painting walls and cancer decisions.


There is nothing more satisfying to me than a clean, re-finished floor.

Since we got new furniture in the living room I thought it was time to do the annual two-year floor re-finish.

I have hardwood floors in both my dining room and the living room.  Every two years I scoot all the furniture into one corner and “redo” my floors.  Starts with a good vacuum.  All the corners done, the baseboard swept.  baseboard get a little tlc with some all-purpose cleaner.  Then go over it with a swiffer twice, using clean pads each time.  Then two washes with Orange Glo floor cleaner.  It deep cleans the wood and removes the old waxy buildup.  The final step is two coats of Orange Glo Wood floor re-finisher.  Sounds like a lot of work but it is so worth it.  Your floors gleam with this warm glow that makes the room look inviting.

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We are also tackling finishing the guest bedroom.  Moved the small furniture out and have prepped the walls and ceiling for primer.  Here is a quick look at the room as it looked this morning:

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The dresser and desk will be painted white and will remain in the room.  The bed that we purchased for the room is a twin sleigh bed.  We also purchased a white night stand to match.  I can’t wait to put green paint to the walls.  Tomorrow I tape.

Only a few more weeks till my next chemo.  It just looms over me.  I can’t decide if I was smart or stupid to wait the two months between treatments.  Not a decision made lightly .  It’s wonderful to have energy to do things around the house.  I’m loving not throwing up every morning.  My brain is clear and my decisions are sound.  It’s kind of nice to have an appetite again.  I do sleep a lot due to a too low a dose of thyroid medication, but we are working on that and that is helping also.

It’s late.  I’m off to bed.  Tomorrow I think I’ll tell the tale of the deer in the tub.

Have a great night all.  See you in the morning.

It’s not bravery, I’m not brave. It’s Sunday, and pizza day.


It’s Super Bowl Sunday and I had a houseful till just before halftime.  We made pizza’s and had just had a quiet time.  M and Mel came by and Mel brought Max.  Oscar had such fun playing with his doggie nephew.  Tio and Mary came by for a bit.  It was good to see her eat.

Oscar and I have our first interview with a retirement community tomorrow.  Keep fingers crossed that they like us.

Mom told me the other day how “Brave” I am for dealing with cancer.  Brave hell.  If someone had given me a choice of dealing with cancer or running like hell, I’d still be running.  I’m basically a coward who has had to deal with a ton of stuff that she never wanted, needed or asked for.  I was drafted into this battle, I so didn’t enlist.

Watched the Green Mile last night.  I’d forgotten what a great movie that was.  What a moving message about how special we all are.

It’s snowed about three inches tonight.  I love the way everything looks coated with snow.  I love even more the fact that I don’t have to go anywhere till noon tomorrow so the roads will be clear.  I hope the sun will be out tomorrow at least for a bit.  Everything will sparkle like diamonds in the sunlight.

Joe and I went to Home depot yesterday to get the paint for mom’s room.  Saw a product there that made me think green.  See, around here they won’t take paint cans with wet paint in them.  You have to let the paint harden before the trash will pick it up.  Home Depot came up with a Paint hardener to facilitate that problem.  It’s a packet of chemicals that you pour into your leftover paint and it hardens it up in an hour.  Wouldn’t quick drying cement do the same thing?  It’s cheaper, It’s basically sand and gravel and not chemicals, and who doesn’t have a bag of it lying around.  

Signing off to go watch halftime.  I hope there are some good cheap shots again this year.

Hugs everyone,

B

I’m Home!!!


And all that good crap.  I’m just glad I made it home with all my parts intact.

Really, I was glad Joe took me in.  Looking back, three weeks ago I got stomach flu which ended me in the hospital for several days.  I had a week to get better and we went to a dinner party and three people sat next to me and started a conversation which firmly ended when I stood up after they announced “I have a terrible chest cold, don’t you hate coming to parties ill?”  No, what i truly hate are people who come to parties ill knowing that they may infect others who can’t fight it as well as you.  (I honestly don’t think I was that polite, I really don’t.)

Monday was spent feeling generally crappy.  Moped around the house, bitched, whined and complained.  When I wasn’t  bitching I was sleeping.  My chest felt like it had an iron band wrapped around it.  Not good.  Went to doctors and he (oh e oh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla, bing bang) Sorry reverted to childhood there.  Thinking witch doctor.  Anyway, he tells me I’m sick, I have an infection in my lung.  He gives me a shot in the butt and a prescription for some Mega Antibiotics.  I go home, back to sleep.

Tuesday, I came down with Pleurisy.  This is an infection of the  Plenum, the lining around the lung that protects it from the ribs. This infection causes extreme pain when you cough, sneeze, inhale.  And I had to cough.  My lungs were still full of fluid, more like peanut butter, and I had to get it out.  Every time I coughed I had to grab my ribs on my left side and squeeze as tight as I could, lean into the wall and hope it passed quickly.  It didn’t.

Wednesday, I fought it.  Coughing was becoming a contact sport with the wall.  I was fighting to clear this crud up.  I  even tried that crap, you know, the one with the green snots dancing till dawn then getting kicked out.  Waste of $8  if you ask me.  I was up all night coughing with a stabbing pain in my side.

Thursday early, I finally Vicodined out for a few hours, but when I woke up, it was so much worse.  I could barely draw a shallow breath.  I called Joe, told him I needed to get to ER now.  Put on my comfy socks and sweats, grabbed my hospital blanket put my slippers on and sat down to wait for him.  We get to the hospital at 10:30 am and are immediately taken into the ER.  I think the fact that my regular physician was told I was going in and he greased the skids a bit.  By the time we got there all I could take were shallow breaths.  My pulse ox was down to 85 and it was kinda scary.

By this time I am in the capable hands of my doctors and everything else until Sunday afternoon is a blur.  And unless you have pictures and can prove it in a court of law, then I’m denying, denying, denying.  I know I was sick enough to get two pints of blood and for the nurses to be really cheery around me.  Or maybe that was just me being my charming self.

Either way, I’m home now.  My own bed feels like heaven, and although I do miss the room service, it’s good to be home.

 

What a wonderfully busy weekend


Saturday we had T & C over for dinner.  I made lasagna (frozen) and C brought salad and cheesy garlic bread.  We sat for several hours just talking and remembering and laughing.  It was a good night.

I started the Neurotin last night and I’m not saying it’s better, just different.  I was up and wandering the house at 4 this morning.  Fell back to sleep around 6 and slept till noon.  M and M came by today and we made homemade pizza’s then played cards.  It was great having company for the weekend.

So today I went out and did what any other self-respecting grandma would do on a cloudy day.  No, I did not do the big K.  I kept my tattoo appointment.  What an experience.  First I couldn’t find the place.  If you’ve ever driven through West Bloomfield during the day you know that the roads are nuts and the drivers even nuttier.  My trusty GPS sends me to an abandoned building in the middle of the biggest traffic snarl I’ve ever seen.  I’m kinda freaking out at this point.  I call the place and he’s all like, “yeah, GPS doesn’t work real well out here.  Too many cars.”  So he guides me in (I was two buildings away) and we get started.

Stencil

Very first ink (for this tat)

First Color

Getting ready to nap. Or at least meditate.

The finished piece

I’m so happy with it.  I can’t wait till it settles down and I can see the true colors.  I barely bled  on this one at all.  And I did catch a nap while he did the fill in.  I was comfortable.

It’s getting late and I’m getting tired.  I hope you all found at least three things to smile at today and at least two reasons to laugh out loud.  I know I did.

I have chemo tomorrow at 1:30.  Spare a thought, white light, or a prayer for me.

Not used to being the caregiver anymore


Wow.  All I can say is wow, and thank you to my husband for taking care of me for all these years.  It’s not easy taking care of someone recovering from surgery.  We tend to forget how easy it is to do simple things.  It’s easy to get irritated when they do the run on get me’s.  (could you get me this, and this, and this, oh and while you’re up could you)  Things like running to the bathroom, or get a glass of water are an ordeal for the recovering.  I do remember this.  I remember the impatience.  No-one does it right, or like you and you bite your tongue because you don’t want to seem ungrateful.  It’s a natural feeling.  We all get used to doing things our way and when our ability is hindered we tend to get short-tempered and needy.

Imagine me, already in that state, caring for two people, one who is just entering that state, and one who wants to be there but I won’t let her.  We have already determined that I can’t take both of them anywhere in my car.  Joe has to have the passenger seat, with it pushed all the way back.  In that position, mom can’t get into the back seat because she can’t get in the driver’s side.  That would mean getting in the vehicle using her right leg first and her joints don’t move like that anymore.  So, I have a great big car and can only get one at a time in it.

If anyone is interest, here are photo’s of Joe’s new knee.  The first one was taken on the day he came home, five days after surgery.  The second was taken today.  The massive swelling has gone down, and while no-where close to normal size it’s looking more like a knee and less like a football.

7-28-12 First day home. The swelling is massive

8-2-12 – 65 degree flexion this morning. He’s doing really well.

 

Tomorrow I take mom in for her first major teeth cleaning in about eight years.  She is gonna be one sore woman for a few days.  I’ve got to stock up on chicken noodle soup.  Maybe I’ll make a pot today.  That would help all of us out.  With homemade polish drop noodles.  Stomach filling food.  I’m off to forage the freezers for chicken.  My idea of hunting.

Have a great day all.

The sound of silence


Sometimes there is no more beautiful sound.  Knowing that no-one else is in the house.  It releases a kind of peace for me.

It’s funny, when I first got sick, I hated being alone all the time.  I’ve worked full-time since thirteen and was so not used to the pleasure of my own company.  Then I gradually got used to the sound of a quiet house.  The ticking of the grandfather clock, the little click when the a/c turns  on, the hum of the pool pump.  Soft quiet noises, house whispers as it were.

My house hardly whispers any more, the house shouts with the sound of heavy footfalls and doors slamming.  Talking will start from out of nowhere, thoughts interrupted, questions asked.  I’m used to it again, but every once in a while, the house falls silent.  No one home but me.  I can hear my home whisper to me again.

They will be home soon, my noisemakers, and I’ll welcome them home.  But for now I’m going to turn on my torch, put the radio on loud and melt some glass.  I’ll show you tomorrow what I get done today.

It’s been a busy bird day at Brenda’s Buffet


All the birdies came out to play, Brenda filled her bird buffet.  From pine nuts to millet, black oil to Suet.  Meal worms, grape jelly and Orange slices kept everyone happy.  I think the rain helped because I’ve never had that many birds in my shrubs just singing and chirping away.  Others waited patiently for the bird baths and the feeder ports.  I still have one red finch that I’m trying to get a photo of, but it takes off every time I move even a little.  I’ll have to set up a blind like last year, till they get used to me again.  I’m sure I smell way different from last year.

 

Running  through the perennials at lightning speed this year.  Can’t keep anything alive in this heat.  It was 103 here today.  Anyway, we has a couple of good rains last night and today so I’m anxious to see what kind of fungus has sprouted overnight.  I think I’ll take Oscar in the morning to hunt mushrooms.

Did get a pretty vessel done today using a tutorial from a class I took in 2005.  Back when my life had a plan and no plan at all.  Turned out better than I thought it would.

Same Vessel, different side

The Sedona Vessel

 

I hope everyone’s kiln creations rock socks tomorrow.   I’m going to try this again and see what results I get.  Not really liking the pitting.  Hopefully tomorrow while Joe is gone I can get some stuff done.  I’m going to try to list some spacers in my ETSY shop tonite, before bed.

Sleep well my friends.  Smell the lavender, hear the ocean crashing against the shore.  The repetitive creak of the ceiling fan just stirring enough wind to create a breeze.  One rum punch and I’m out like a light.  Sleep well.

 

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