Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘Holidays’

the house is as quiet as a mouse


The house is suddenly, stunningly quiet. the last gifts given, the kids and the grands are packed and gone. Just me, mom and Joe to sit and stare at each other and marvel that for 24 hours, we had home and family surrounding us with joy and laughter. I love the sound of Harpers squeals of joy when he scores big on “Cow Racing”. Yep Ann, you got us hooked on abusing bovines for sport and pleasure. I hope the books I chose were well recieved. I search each year for the right books to match the right players, Dinner was simple and easy and well eaten all around. Just the family this year. Did I get what I wanted for Christmas? Yes, and then my cup runneth over. I got popsicle in my hair and played screaming hide and seek (just like regular, but you scream when found. Why do I teach them these things?) Lots of hugs and healing strength from the kids and just outpouring of love from the grands. Man, there is nothing like an Isla nuzzle to get you out of a funk. We are so very lucky to be blessed with such loving caring family.

And I’m so proud to be a part of Lampwork etc. A group of caring individuals who happen to love melting glass as much as I do. Every year we collect names and addresses of people who need some Holiday Joy. I signed my MIL up this year, since dad passed, she’s been dimming a bit The cards she received covered the stretch of my 10 ft mantle and I still ended up standing throughout the room. She is giggling like a little girl and telling our guests what a wonderful “family” I have on the internet. I like seeing the spring back in her step.

Harper got to see the Golden hawk that has been terrorizing our neighborhood since summer. He’s a big ole thing that loves to steal cats and small dogs from peoples yards. In the summer it’s “have you see my cat”? In winter, it’s the dogs.

Well i’m hungry and tired and ready to nap for awhile. I give them all 100%, Then I owe the bank some sleep time. Have a grand and glorious weekend everyone.

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The difference between…


The things I say and the things I mean are sometimes worlds apart and I’m just starting to realize that.  Like telling someone that I’m in “remission”.  What they hear is “I’m cured”, what I mean is that “I still have cancer and will always have it.”  It’s a part of me now.  It’s who I am and how I’m defined.  Also, when I say “I can’t eat”.  It doesn’t mean that I’m being stubborn and want to waste away to skin and bones and live on soup.  What it means is that it hurts to eat, the fibers of the food get lodged in my throat and cause physical pain when I try to swallow.  It’s like trying to swallow around a golf ball.  Doable, but not very pleasant.  It very hard to express what I’m feeling when most people don’t understand what I’m explaining to them.  How many people can identify with “cold/hot sweats”, or “swallowing around a golf ball”, or “when your nerves go chemo crazy”.

So, I need to take more time to explain myself better.  Use my words.  It’s just so much easier to write about it than it is to speak about it.  When I write I can pick and choose my words, change things if they are not right.  The spoken word is like ringing a bell.  There is no way to un-ring it.  It’s done and laying there, like a Baby Ruth in the swimming pool.

Tomorrow will be our family Christmas.  Got the cooking started today, just have to put the bird and the potatoes in the oven, make deviled eggs and a pasta dish and I’m done.  Joe braved the grocery store for the final trip to pick up everything I’d forgotten (yeah Joe).  He knows I have no patience for shoppers, especially at this time of the year.

So I’m off for bed.  It’s a little after 9 and I have a big day tomorrow.  Sunday and Monday I don’t have to get out of bed except to use the bathroom.  I’m so gonna need a massage when the holidays are over.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.  May the gods keep you safe in the palms of their hands.

The countdown begins


Tree is decorated and lit, packages wrapped and placed under the tree.  The stockings are hung and the halls have been decked.  In two days the house will ring with children’s laughter and the heady sound of adults laughing and catching up.  I’m so excited.  Then seven days later we head for Orlando/Canaveral and head to the Bahamas for seven fun-filled, sun filled days.

Tomorrow I’ll make the dressing and the cheesy potatoes, set up the dining room and bring serving stuff up from downstairs.

For now, just watching a silly movie about people who travel back in time and come back with a T-Rex in tow and it’s now running rampant through either New York or L.A.  Joe is sleeping on the couch with Oscar and mom is asking a million questions about the movie.    I love silly movies.

I’m off to sleep now.  Fighting this cold is wearing me out.  Blessings to all of you.

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