Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘grandkids’

It’s a “Super Monday”


4:30 Monday afternoon.  Spent the most wonderful morning and afternoon snuggled with Oscar in my big red chair.  The snow is drifting down in handfuls.  I’ll bed we’ve gotten over three inches today alone.  I love watching the birds play “battledome” at the feeders.  All of them vying for the choicest piece of birdseed, then racing back to the shrubs where they can eat in somewhat warmth.  There must be 100 birds that live in the shrubs outside my side door.  When I open the door to let Oscar out, it’s like a peeps chorus line greeting me every time.

I got my granddaughters’ 2012 piece of bearthday jewelry today.  It’s a silver cat face outline with a four-leaf clover inset in glass where the face goes.  Perfect for year 3.  In case I’ve forgotten to fill you all in, every year on her bearthday, I buy her a piece of jewelry and put it in a box.  On her eighteenth bearthday, she will get this gift of seventeen years of thoughts and finding the perfect piece of jewelry for.  I try to include Peridot or a shade of green to represent Peridot in all her gifts.

“Peridot is a stone of lightness and beauty. Only spiritual or clear-minded persons should use Peridot. The person with too many earthly problems will not be able to understand the beauty of the Peridot. The very spiritual can wear Peridot in a necklace with the stone at the base of the throat to feel its soothing effect. Used in a necklace, Peridot is a protector against negative emotions.”

Since she is also a Leo (like her grandma B), cats or their other worldly likenesses will also be used for her bearthday pieces.

I’m missing my grands something bad.  I haven’t seen them or heard from them since Christmas.  I asked a few weeks ago if I could come down for a few days and haven’t heard anything back, so I’m guessing that’s a no.  It’s so hard when you love them so much, but get to see them so little.  I know it’s because they are so busy and the kids are so active in their lives.  I’m glad they get to do so much with her parents and siblings since we never seem to be able to get together.  It’s good that they get to be really close to a part of their family.  Family is what it’s all about.

I think I’ll go take a hot bath since it’s still daylight.  Nothing better than a hot tub while watching snowflakes fall.

I’ve decided that I want a chihuahua.  A little girl Chi, not a really little one, but a long-haired, medium-sized one.  Tri-colored would be perfect.  If anyone has a hook-up, let me know.

Oscar and I cancelled our appointment today.  We did reschedule it for Wednesday.  The roads were just too scary for me.  Snow covered and icy.  Not what I want to drive on.  She understood and so we are doing it again on Wed.

I’m getting seriously short of fresh postcards for my color wall.  If any of you happen to spot a brightly colored postcard somewhere on your travels, please send it on.  I have several “color boards” that I pin postcards, and cards and photo’s to give me inspiration for making beads and jewelry.

Dinner is on, so I’m headed up.  Have a soft evening all.  See you tomorrow.

 

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the house is as quiet as a mouse


The house is suddenly, stunningly quiet. the last gifts given, the kids and the grands are packed and gone. Just me, mom and Joe to sit and stare at each other and marvel that for 24 hours, we had home and family surrounding us with joy and laughter. I love the sound of Harpers squeals of joy when he scores big on “Cow Racing”. Yep Ann, you got us hooked on abusing bovines for sport and pleasure. I hope the books I chose were well recieved. I search each year for the right books to match the right players, Dinner was simple and easy and well eaten all around. Just the family this year. Did I get what I wanted for Christmas? Yes, and then my cup runneth over. I got popsicle in my hair and played screaming hide and seek (just like regular, but you scream when found. Why do I teach them these things?) Lots of hugs and healing strength from the kids and just outpouring of love from the grands. Man, there is nothing like an Isla nuzzle to get you out of a funk. We are so very lucky to be blessed with such loving caring family.

And I’m so proud to be a part of Lampwork etc. A group of caring individuals who happen to love melting glass as much as I do. Every year we collect names and addresses of people who need some Holiday Joy. I signed my MIL up this year, since dad passed, she’s been dimming a bit The cards she received covered the stretch of my 10 ft mantle and I still ended up standing throughout the room. She is giggling like a little girl and telling our guests what a wonderful “family” I have on the internet. I like seeing the spring back in her step.

Harper got to see the Golden hawk that has been terrorizing our neighborhood since summer. He’s a big ole thing that loves to steal cats and small dogs from peoples yards. In the summer it’s “have you see my cat”? In winter, it’s the dogs.

Well i’m hungry and tired and ready to nap for awhile. I give them all 100%, Then I owe the bank some sleep time. Have a grand and glorious weekend everyone.

Had a lovely visit from two parts of my heart


C stopped by with the kids and did so much to brighten my day.  They came up for the weekend so L could run in the Detroit marathon.  We were going to meet at a cider mill on Saturday and spend some time together, but Saturday dawned damp and cold so we passed on that and they went to C’s moms to spend the night.  Sunday morning it was so wonderful to see their smiling faces.  They brought me the most beautiful flowers to make me feel better, and I did.  Isla brought me pink mums just cause they were pink and she’s all about the pink.   Harp got me multi-colored poms, “Cause they have lots of colors, like your tattoo’s”.  When Isla was born I added two new tat’s to my collection.  Right over my heart are two stars.  One pink, one blue.  Neither have outlines because there are no boundaries as to where they will go, they are not shaped perfect because no-one is perfect and it should never be expected.  Perfection is an illusion anyway.  Anyway, I carry them with me everywhere.  I was so afraid I wouldn’t get to see them.  The house just rang with laughs and footsteps and giggles and shouts of “Gramma B where is…..”.  It’s funny, they never ask Joe where things are.

I’m afraid my hostessing skills have digressed in the past several years.  I guess when you get used to everyone doing for you, you forget that it’s your job in your home.  All I wanted to do was play with the kids.

Got Oscars paperwork in the mail today.  A certificate with a gold seal and a special tag that he gets to wear.  He is an official Therapy Dog.

Wow, just took a good stretch.  It’s been a week since I’ve been able to stretch my arms and shoulders.  That felt so good I think I go into the living room and have a good thorough muscle pulling stretch.  Get the blood moving and circulating.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Another weekend over and I’m exhausted again.


If  it wasn’t for Joes PT I would have slept all day today. Did so much running this past week and weekend.  I’m not used to being this active and I’m paying for it now.

Friday was run errands day, Saturday, Went to the Baptism for four beautiful little ones.  Two girls and two boys.  Children of someone I watched grow up.  We lost contact several years ago, so I was surprised to be invited, but wonderfully blessed to be included and welcomed back.  Seeing her brothers and sisters and their children touched me.  They have all done so well for themselves.  Between them they have 23 kids and they all live within three blocks of their mother.  What a blessed grandmother she is.  She is so involved with their lives.  I truly envy her getting to see all her beautiful babies every day.

I did get to visit a bit with my grands yesterday.   C&L spent the night at ex’s house and came by here after breakfast.  I love spending time with my grands.  It seems that I never get to see them.  They are growing so fast.  I guess that’s why I envy Apple her  babies so much.  There are days I want to chuck everything and move to their town just to be more a part of their lives.  But I’ll take what I can get when I can get it.  I can’t wait till they are older and have computers that I can Skype on or they get on FB or even e-mail.  Right now it’s hard to even get a hold of them.  I wish there was a way we could connect more on a weekly basis instead of quarterly like we do now.

So now I’m off to torch for a while.  Need to spend some time in creative mode.

 

The very best sight, the very best sound, and the very best feeling.


The very best sound is the sound of my house ringing with laughter of family and friends.  From elderly to infant, we had them all at our house  Saturday.  It was a perfect day.  Hot, with a bit of breeze, the pool was perfect, the food was amazing (thanks again for grilling C.)  Everyone brought something to pass and the variety was wonderful.  Several times I just stopped and listened and found myself wishing for things that can never be.  I got way too much sun and slept for two days after, but that’s OK.  It felt wonderful.

The best sight was waking up Sunday morning to my granddaughters sweet face peering over the edge of the bed and asking in her sweet voice, “can horsey wake up now?”.  We have a bouncy horse with springs that she loves.  She will get up all night and bounce on that horse, so Sat. I put horsey to sleep in my room.  He couldn’t wake up till I did.  She did wait till she heard Joe talking to me.  Such a sweetie.

The best feeling was the hug my grandson gave me as they were leaving.  I told him I needed a good long cuddle and he held me for at least three minutes.  That’s a long time for a five-year old.  He smells so good.  No matter what, he always smells the same.

Today I went in had some blood work done to test my thyroid to see if medication can correct its issues.  So, I find out Friday.  I did weigh in at 118.8 today so I’m up three pounds.  Man, I work hard for those pounds.  Since I’m never hungry, and have a hard time swallowing when I am, I tend not to eat much.  So every morning I make my big ass cup of coffee with three heaping scoops of carnation instant breakfast and a 1/2 cup of whole milk.  I need to look into a protein powder since protein adds muscle.  At least no-one told me I was “too skinny”.  I hate that.  They remember me at 189, so to them, I’m too thin.  I think I’m fine.

I’m going to call it a night.  Sweet dreams everyone.  I’m in the process of learning how to crochet a sock.  We will see how it turns out.

 

 

Weekends were made for this.


Had a really nice weekend.  Very calm and relaxing.  My heart and spirit are happy and rested.  Now I have to rest the rest of me.

Drove down to Columbus to see C & L and the Grands.  I so love hanging out with them.  This time was so nice and calm.  Friday night we had chicken kabobs on the grill and rice and it was perfect.  I ate everything but one piece of onion.  It was so good.  Then we had a fire in the pit and just sat and talked.  I even stayed up till after 10:30.

Of course Saturday I slept in late.  Harp promptly  informed me that I was the house lazy bones, even Sissy beat me awake.  We spent the day just puttering around the house.  Hanging out outside while the kids came and went.  Watch C&L tear up their front grass.  Took tons of pictures and ninja videos of everyone.

 

Anyone have a good suggestion for a piece of software that will help me splice tons of little video clips into one movie?  I haven’t found one yet.  I have hundreds of video clips and need an easy software.

Anyway, Saturday night we went to dinner at a “famous German Sausage restaurant” in Columbus.  Joe and I had watch a Food Network show that featured this particular place and Joe thought it would be a good place to go for dinner.  It had looked really good on TV.  However, once we got there the choices looked kinda sad and overdone.  I ended up ordering off the menu, which turned out to be a really good idea since my sandwich was really good.  Smoked ham on a pretzel roll.  I ate half of it and was stuffed.  After, we took a great tour of downtown Columbus then went back home to hang out.

Sunday morning was beautiful.  Got up early and just enjoyed the house waking up.  I love listening to the little ones chatter away.  Harper made me a handmade card with hearts in it.  I’ve already hung it on my board downstairs.  He also gave me flowers and pictures.  I was so touched by how thoughtful they were.  It was a really great morning.

We e took our time getting home and just hung out for the rest of the night.  I think the most important thing about this weekend is that I forgot to be sick for a couple of days.  Little ones don’t care.  They just wanted Grandma B to run around the house with them and Oscar.

Today is putz in the backyard day and rest up.  Catching up on laundry and draining the pit.  Have a lovely day everyone.  Enjoy the sunshine.  Fill up on those wonderful D’s.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger


and that patience is a virtue, and good things come to those who wait.

Whoever “they” are, haven’t had to deal with doctors returning calls or getting test results back to find out if you are going to have to go to war once again.  That’s how I see battling cancer.  Going to war, armed with a pea-shooter and a roll of toilet paper.    I still have heard nothing about my results.  I really don’t want to wait till next Thursday to find out.  I find myself returning to self-mutilation when I’m stressed and I keep catching myself.

When I was young I was a cutter.  The feet were always a good place to cut cause you could hide them easily.  Broken glass and boyfriends names all done in a drunken stupor in my friends basements or at the playground.  I’ve gotten away from the open bleeding wounds, now I do it on a small-scale.  Like tearing the skin off from around my nails.  Or cutting my toenails till they bleed (the main reason for pedicures for me.  Stops me from doing that.)  Sometimes I catch myself sticking pins in my fingers to see how long I can stand it.  I am aware that I’m doing it.  And I am making every effort to stop doing it.  Stress adds to it.  And I’m about stressed to the max.

Really itching to get some backyard work done today.  Once the yard gets a bit warmer and drier.  We’ve had bad storms the past three nights that have really torn things up.  The weeds love it though.

I think I’ll take Oscar for a long walk today.  It’s kinda nice out 60 degrees or so.  Poor Joe can’t keep up with us anymore.  His knee tires him out after half a block.  Have to get Oz some exercise.  We are headed for Columbus to see C and L and the kids.  It seems like forever since I’ve seen them.  It’s supposed to be a nice weekend with rain on Sunday which is our return home day so that works.  Hopefully it will be nice enough to sit outside by the fire with hotdogs and a cold beer.  I so need this.  Traveling is hard, but the treasure at the end of the journey is worth it.  And Oscar loves playing with Ellie.

I’m off now to ponder the universe that exists only in my own bellybutton.  Have a great weekend everyone.  I hope the sun shines on all your picnics.

B

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