Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘friends’

Sunday brushes off the dust of another week


New photo’s of an old room for your entertainment.  M & M came by last week and helped tape and paint the “horrid white room” and turned it into a picture of spring.  I love the Midori tone to this color.  It makes the room shine.

pre green room

M paintingB paintingM PaintingAlmost Green Room

Finished Green room

Finished green room1

This is the almost finished product.  I’m re-varnishing the floors right now, then we can put the furniture back in.  I need to get curtains and a comforter to match the room, put up a few pictures and some knickknacks on the shelves and we’ve got ourselves a great spare bedroom.

This is a beautiful glass piece we got to add to the living room.  I love it.  Made in Spain from recycled glass we picked it up for next to nothing.  We got 75% off the 50% off the 20% off the original price.  I love Art Van for things like this.  They buy tons of it to make their showrooms look good then move them to a corner of the Clearance Center where they keep getting marked down.  Most people wouldn’t have looked twice at this bottle #1, cause it’s huge, it stands even with our fourth stair riser, #2 it was a weird color in the store.  The fluorescent lighting made the white swirls a dingy grey color.  I almost passed it by too. Something in it interested me though so I took it outside to see it in natural light and it was beautiful, heavy, but beautiful.  I love buying special things for my home and not paying a small fortune for them.

New Vase 

And now my favorite part of the show….. my Orchid garden.  How wonderful it is to wake up every morning to see this amazing array of orchids.  Every morning greeted by the promise of spring, especially with the thick snowfall in the background.

Orchids

Orchids

It was a rough end to the week.  We had everything planned to head south to visit C & L and the Grands but I got stomach flu again.  I even volunteered to go to the doctors it was so bad.  I knew what she would say, “Plenty of liquids, B.R.A.T. diet (banana, rice, applesauce, toast)”.  I usually fight going to the doctors but I’ve been so sick so often lately it’s starting to bother me.  I know my immune system is shot which makes it less enjoyable to go out and do things when you know you are going to end up sick in a few days.  Even something as an innocuous as going to a comedy club will bring me to my knees.  It just sucks.

OMG, new reality show alert, or maybe it’s old and I’m just behind, whatever.  It’s a reality show about biker gangs and their funny wars.  The show I watched showed rival gangs  fighting over the colors they get to wear.  Big, tough, biker dudes gonna duke it out over the colors.  Seems kinda girly to me.  So did the fight scenes.  I’ve fought tougher girls in the day.

Nine am dentist appointment tomorrow.  Last two fillings and a cleaning.  Yippee.  Then Thurs. I get my CT scan after three months without chemo.  I’ve enjoyed the three months free of chemicals, but I’m ready to do what my doctor tells me to do.  And that’s stretching for me.  Giving that much power to someone.  Scary.

OK, I’m off to seek refuge from this hectic mind whirl with slumber, or perhaps a brownie then slumber.  Peace out all.

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Visits from friends, spiffy new tat and room with a view.


It’s been an amazing week so far.  The bedroom is shaping up nicely.  Got the two coats of primer up and the room looks like a different place already.  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA  The sunlight coming through the windows is beautiful hitting the white primer.  So different from that dingy, unfinished space that was there before.  Primer coat is complete, ceiling is done with two coats of ceiling white (I wanted to use fairy silver, but Joe didn’t like it, so white it is).  I can’t wait to start putting the green on the walls.  It’s going to be so bright and vibrant.  I’m really thinking of doing the trim work in yellow, but that might be too much with two doors and two windows.  I’m talking lemon yellow here, to accent the bright green of the walls.

The other day we got a visit from Tio and Mary.  They brought me over a box

of beautiful teacups and saucers that had belonged to their daughter L.  L passed suddenly last year and we all miss her terribly.  I’m going to have to find a place to display them properly.  Aren’t they amazing?  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA  I, of course, had to show her my china tea set. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA  Mine are Faerie sized.  It am touched that she thought of me for the tea cups though.  They are such special friends.

Back in  October, I got my latest tattoo.  My gecko.  You may have noticed that he kind of disappeared from conversation.  That’s because when I was in the hospital last, my blood infection spread to my tattoo and turned it gross.  The head broke off in four places, the front foot slid under the belly of the beastie, most of the colors faded to shades I’m not sure of.  It ended up looking like this.  OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA  Yesterday, Joe took me back to Chroma Tattoo where I had it done the first time.  Jason rocked.  He took one look and said he could fix it and fix it he did.  It looks amazing again.  I’m not jinxing it by showing it early again.  Once it heals, I’ll show it.  Joe was so impressed with Jason’s room in the studio that he actually offered Jason “Joe Bacon”. “Joe Bacon” is a mounted boars head that we have had around the house forever.  Joe got it at a garage sale somewhere and hung it in our old house.  In this house, there is no room for an ugly ass boar head so he get’s moved from room to room.  I’ve threatened to throw him out several times.  Joe and Jason hit it off and Joe offered it to Jason and now it’s gone from my home forever.  I hope he gets tons of attention where he’s at, he sure didn’t get it here.

I’m about a quarter of the way through the dollhouse.  Not far enought yet to take pictures, just far enough to start being confused by the instructions.

Have a great day everyone.  I’m off to take a nap.  Mom is watching her “programs” for the afternoon and I’m barely keeping the peepers open.

It’s not bravery, I’m not brave. It’s Sunday, and pizza day.


It’s Super Bowl Sunday and I had a houseful till just before halftime.  We made pizza’s and had just had a quiet time.  M and Mel came by and Mel brought Max.  Oscar had such fun playing with his doggie nephew.  Tio and Mary came by for a bit.  It was good to see her eat.

Oscar and I have our first interview with a retirement community tomorrow.  Keep fingers crossed that they like us.

Mom told me the other day how “Brave” I am for dealing with cancer.  Brave hell.  If someone had given me a choice of dealing with cancer or running like hell, I’d still be running.  I’m basically a coward who has had to deal with a ton of stuff that she never wanted, needed or asked for.  I was drafted into this battle, I so didn’t enlist.

Watched the Green Mile last night.  I’d forgotten what a great movie that was.  What a moving message about how special we all are.

It’s snowed about three inches tonight.  I love the way everything looks coated with snow.  I love even more the fact that I don’t have to go anywhere till noon tomorrow so the roads will be clear.  I hope the sun will be out tomorrow at least for a bit.  Everything will sparkle like diamonds in the sunlight.

Joe and I went to Home depot yesterday to get the paint for mom’s room.  Saw a product there that made me think green.  See, around here they won’t take paint cans with wet paint in them.  You have to let the paint harden before the trash will pick it up.  Home Depot came up with a Paint hardener to facilitate that problem.  It’s a packet of chemicals that you pour into your leftover paint and it hardens it up in an hour.  Wouldn’t quick drying cement do the same thing?  It’s cheaper, It’s basically sand and gravel and not chemicals, and who doesn’t have a bag of it lying around.  

Signing off to go watch halftime.  I hope there are some good cheap shots again this year.

Hugs everyone,

B

The results are in.


Due to the extensive radiation I’ve had done to my neck and throat, my thyroid had stopped working, so it looks like Synthroid is the latest addition to my orchestra.  That harmonious mixture of pharmacological wonders that keep this fine tuned machine running like it’s not supposed to.  Honest to the gods I swear I only have two or three more viable parts they can remove without shutting the whole system down.  It’s like taking apart a bike and having a few pieces left over.  Must have not needed them anyway.

Question for the ether, How does one go about meeting people to form friendships?  Before I got sick I had lots of friends.  I had work friends, and after work friends and combination of both kind of friends.  During my illness and my recovery, my friends thinned out.  At first it was a small number of not returned calls and cancelled plans.  As I got sicker, the friends got thinner.  I’m not blaming them.  I’m sure I wasn’t much to be around back then.  Still had some die-hard friends though.  Now that it’s going on six years even the die-hard friends have gone on living their own lives.  Work, kids, commitments, they all just carry on.  I know I’m also to blame.  For a long while, I didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything.  I had no strength, I was sick.  Now t hat I’m getting better again, I’m looking to do things with friends, I look around and I really don’t have any.

I have my husband whom I love and who would do anything, go anywhere with me, but who is not female.  Sometimes you need girl talk.  There is a lavender festival in Armada this weekend and I’d love some girl time in a good smelling place, but I don’t know anyone else who would enjoy it that lives close enough to enjoy it with.

OK, enough pity party.  I’m off to work on my crap room for a while.  I can put in about an hour a day and it still looks like I haven’t done shit in there.  It will get better.  I am taking pictures this time so I have before and after.  I can see it finished in my mind’s eye and it’s pretty.  I hope it turns out that nice in reality.

The very best sight, the very best sound, and the very best feeling.


The very best sound is the sound of my house ringing with laughter of family and friends.  From elderly to infant, we had them all at our house  Saturday.  It was a perfect day.  Hot, with a bit of breeze, the pool was perfect, the food was amazing (thanks again for grilling C.)  Everyone brought something to pass and the variety was wonderful.  Several times I just stopped and listened and found myself wishing for things that can never be.  I got way too much sun and slept for two days after, but that’s OK.  It felt wonderful.

The best sight was waking up Sunday morning to my granddaughters sweet face peering over the edge of the bed and asking in her sweet voice, “can horsey wake up now?”.  We have a bouncy horse with springs that she loves.  She will get up all night and bounce on that horse, so Sat. I put horsey to sleep in my room.  He couldn’t wake up till I did.  She did wait till she heard Joe talking to me.  Such a sweetie.

The best feeling was the hug my grandson gave me as they were leaving.  I told him I needed a good long cuddle and he held me for at least three minutes.  That’s a long time for a five-year old.  He smells so good.  No matter what, he always smells the same.

Today I went in had some blood work done to test my thyroid to see if medication can correct its issues.  So, I find out Friday.  I did weigh in at 118.8 today so I’m up three pounds.  Man, I work hard for those pounds.  Since I’m never hungry, and have a hard time swallowing when I am, I tend not to eat much.  So every morning I make my big ass cup of coffee with three heaping scoops of carnation instant breakfast and a 1/2 cup of whole milk.  I need to look into a protein powder since protein adds muscle.  At least no-one told me I was “too skinny”.  I hate that.  They remember me at 189, so to them, I’m too thin.  I think I’m fine.

I’m going to call it a night.  Sweet dreams everyone.  I’m in the process of learning how to crochet a sock.  We will see how it turns out.

 

 

Once again, facing the dragon.


I am a fearless wonder.

I am source of strength for many people.

I am amazing.

I am good-hearted.

I slay dragons in my spare time.

I have defeated things that have crushed others.

I am socially awkward.

I can accomplish things that others can only imagine.

I feel that I have no purpose.

I am mostly sad.

I am blessed to have so many people who care for me.

I think I have done enough in my life to qualify it as an “adventure”.

I am constantly amused by my dog.

I have to go get chemo now.

I am afraid.

 

Spent the day with a wonderful old friend.


She’s actually Joe’s cousin, but my friend.  She has come to Michigan from Washington State to spend some time with friends and family and we were delighted to be able to spend the afternoon with her.

Lupe is a marvelous person with so many stories and life events that I love talking with her.  We have actually only met face to face on four occasions and each time is like we just left each other, we spend hours just talking and catching up.  Even the first time. Roll back eighteen years… Joe and I are living in a very small apartment.  Lupe, Bob and their two boys roll up in their “home”.  Yep, they lived in a motor home.  Such an adventurous spirit she contains.  She was a homesteader in Alaska, been in the Army.  Raised two small boys in the wilderness.  Grew up in Detroit.  The stories this woman tells.

And that’s not her real virtue as a friend and fellow. She asks questions of you, questions that demand multiple sentence answers.  Things like “tell me how you spend your day.  From first cup of coffee till bedtime.  Then she listens and questions your activities.  She has a knack of drawing things out of you that you didn’t know you in you, which prompts a story which prompts another funny story from one of us and another and another.  The four of us talked for three hours in the restaurant and the time just flew by.

It really is a blessing that there are some people out there that are interested in who you are, not what you have that can further their agenda.

Please make sure that you follow my blog so I can include you in the waves of white light I send out nightly.  It makes me sleep better picturing the people I care about being cloaked in white light for the evening.  That way I know they are protected.

 

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