Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘CT scan’

The hamster is back on his wheel.


A couple of weeks ago I had an MRI on my upper back to see if my arthritis has gotten worse.  My anesthesiologist wanted me to have one done prior to giving me my next epidural.  Since it wasn’t my oncologist ordering the test I had to have it done at the regular hospital instead of the Cancer Center where I’m used to going.  So different techs, different radiologists reading the scans.  The anesthesiologist seemed satisfied and gave me my last epidural without any problems.

Last week, however, I went to my oncologist for my annual blood work and checkup.  He looked at the results of the MRI and told me they reported a spot on my right lung.  He’s not sure if this is a spot that has been there, as a result of my prior surgery and it’s just being seen by new eyes, or it’s something new and we need to be concerned again.

So, the hamster is back on the wheel.  The “what ifs” are flying around my tiny cranial cavity.

OK.  we have a CT scan scheduled for when I return from vacation and the oncologist a week later for the results.  So for two weeks this is going to prey on my mind.

Light a candle for me.

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CT results yesterday, Cancer free for another three!!!


Months that is… but I’ll take every one of those months and cherish them like the shining coins that they are.

And that’s all I have to say for today.

Sunday brushes off the dust of another week


New photo’s of an old room for your entertainment.  M & M came by last week and helped tape and paint the “horrid white room” and turned it into a picture of spring.  I love the Midori tone to this color.  It makes the room shine.

pre green room

M paintingB paintingM PaintingAlmost Green Room

Finished Green room

Finished green room1

This is the almost finished product.  I’m re-varnishing the floors right now, then we can put the furniture back in.  I need to get curtains and a comforter to match the room, put up a few pictures and some knickknacks on the shelves and we’ve got ourselves a great spare bedroom.

This is a beautiful glass piece we got to add to the living room.  I love it.  Made in Spain from recycled glass we picked it up for next to nothing.  We got 75% off the 50% off the 20% off the original price.  I love Art Van for things like this.  They buy tons of it to make their showrooms look good then move them to a corner of the Clearance Center where they keep getting marked down.  Most people wouldn’t have looked twice at this bottle #1, cause it’s huge, it stands even with our fourth stair riser, #2 it was a weird color in the store.  The fluorescent lighting made the white swirls a dingy grey color.  I almost passed it by too. Something in it interested me though so I took it outside to see it in natural light and it was beautiful, heavy, but beautiful.  I love buying special things for my home and not paying a small fortune for them.

New Vase 

And now my favorite part of the show….. my Orchid garden.  How wonderful it is to wake up every morning to see this amazing array of orchids.  Every morning greeted by the promise of spring, especially with the thick snowfall in the background.

Orchids

Orchids

It was a rough end to the week.  We had everything planned to head south to visit C & L and the Grands but I got stomach flu again.  I even volunteered to go to the doctors it was so bad.  I knew what she would say, “Plenty of liquids, B.R.A.T. diet (banana, rice, applesauce, toast)”.  I usually fight going to the doctors but I’ve been so sick so often lately it’s starting to bother me.  I know my immune system is shot which makes it less enjoyable to go out and do things when you know you are going to end up sick in a few days.  Even something as an innocuous as going to a comedy club will bring me to my knees.  It just sucks.

OMG, new reality show alert, or maybe it’s old and I’m just behind, whatever.  It’s a reality show about biker gangs and their funny wars.  The show I watched showed rival gangs  fighting over the colors they get to wear.  Big, tough, biker dudes gonna duke it out over the colors.  Seems kinda girly to me.  So did the fight scenes.  I’ve fought tougher girls in the day.

Nine am dentist appointment tomorrow.  Last two fillings and a cleaning.  Yippee.  Then Thurs. I get my CT scan after three months without chemo.  I’ve enjoyed the three months free of chemicals, but I’m ready to do what my doctor tells me to do.  And that’s stretching for me.  Giving that much power to someone.  Scary.

OK, I’m off to seek refuge from this hectic mind whirl with slumber, or perhaps a brownie then slumber.  Peace out all.

I’m Home!!!


And all that good crap.  I’m just glad I made it home with all my parts intact.

Really, I was glad Joe took me in.  Looking back, three weeks ago I got stomach flu which ended me in the hospital for several days.  I had a week to get better and we went to a dinner party and three people sat next to me and started a conversation which firmly ended when I stood up after they announced “I have a terrible chest cold, don’t you hate coming to parties ill?”  No, what i truly hate are people who come to parties ill knowing that they may infect others who can’t fight it as well as you.  (I honestly don’t think I was that polite, I really don’t.)

Monday was spent feeling generally crappy.  Moped around the house, bitched, whined and complained.  When I wasn’t  bitching I was sleeping.  My chest felt like it had an iron band wrapped around it.  Not good.  Went to doctors and he (oh e oh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla, bing bang) Sorry reverted to childhood there.  Thinking witch doctor.  Anyway, he tells me I’m sick, I have an infection in my lung.  He gives me a shot in the butt and a prescription for some Mega Antibiotics.  I go home, back to sleep.

Tuesday, I came down with Pleurisy.  This is an infection of the  Plenum, the lining around the lung that protects it from the ribs. This infection causes extreme pain when you cough, sneeze, inhale.  And I had to cough.  My lungs were still full of fluid, more like peanut butter, and I had to get it out.  Every time I coughed I had to grab my ribs on my left side and squeeze as tight as I could, lean into the wall and hope it passed quickly.  It didn’t.

Wednesday, I fought it.  Coughing was becoming a contact sport with the wall.  I was fighting to clear this crud up.  I  even tried that crap, you know, the one with the green snots dancing till dawn then getting kicked out.  Waste of $8  if you ask me.  I was up all night coughing with a stabbing pain in my side.

Thursday early, I finally Vicodined out for a few hours, but when I woke up, it was so much worse.  I could barely draw a shallow breath.  I called Joe, told him I needed to get to ER now.  Put on my comfy socks and sweats, grabbed my hospital blanket put my slippers on and sat down to wait for him.  We get to the hospital at 10:30 am and are immediately taken into the ER.  I think the fact that my regular physician was told I was going in and he greased the skids a bit.  By the time we got there all I could take were shallow breaths.  My pulse ox was down to 85 and it was kinda scary.

By this time I am in the capable hands of my doctors and everything else until Sunday afternoon is a blur.  And unless you have pictures and can prove it in a court of law, then I’m denying, denying, denying.  I know I was sick enough to get two pints of blood and for the nurses to be really cheery around me.  Or maybe that was just me being my charming self.

Either way, I’m home now.  My own bed feels like heaven, and although I do miss the room service, it’s good to be home.

 

So much going on that sharing is scary.


Went to a rehabilitation therapist today for the arthritis in my back.  He is now ordering an MRI to be done of my spine due to the increasing neuropathy in my right arm.  It’s to the point now where I feel nothing in my thumb and only some in my index and middle fingers.  My arm falls asleep at a moments notice.   My right hand will start to shake uncontrollably and I’m starting to drop things.  I have to admit this to everyone otherwise I will keep pretending that everything is fine.  I can’t anymore.

I’m glad I spin my mandrels with my left hand and apply glass with my right.  I can set a glass rod down till feeling comes back, can’t set a hot bead down “for a minute”.

OK so I got a very painful steroid/lidocaine shot in my back to hold me over till he can determine if an epidural is necessary or if there is anything else he can do.  So I’m scheduled for an M.R.I and a C.T. scan next Monday (gonna need a pill for this one).  Then I see a neurologist on the 25th, then back to this RT that I saw today to see what’s going on.  So till the middle of next month it’s one test after another and the hurry up and wait game.  I hate that game.

Meanwhile I’m keeping myself busy.  Tonight Oscar and I go for his first testing as a therapy dog.  There is an entire checklist that he has to go through.  I hope he does well.  Then Saturday it’s out to Brighton for torch time for the BOC, Sunday is a guild meeting in the afternoon.  Then I need to get busy making beads for the bead bonanza in October.  Phew, when I jump back into life, I don’t fool around.

I’m off for an afternoon nap to let this shot take effect.  Hugs to everyone.

Yesterday dawned clear and bright


The birds were singing the sun was shining.  Joe and I went out Monday and picked up some plants for the front flower bed.  Two years ago, I had him rip out a bunch of 20-year-old shrubs that were on their last legs anyway.  So it’s been pretty barren landscape wise.  Although one full quarter is blooming voraciously with things I put in last year.  And the sporadic hostas that got shoved in are doing well.  Even the peony that I thought wouldn’t make it has come back.

Now to get the back yard done.  And it all starts with a tarp.  I have my flowers for my pots, just can’t fill my pots yet cause they are being used as weights for the big black tarp.  We were gonna remove the tarp today, but of course, it rained all night so the tarp is again full of water.  Cant remove the tarp till the waters gone.  So, I’m gonna get that pump humming today.  I want to see beautiful blue water.  Not some black pit.

On the cancer front.  Went for chemo yesterday.  The oncologist said that my C/T scan was normal and showed no evidence of recurring cancers.  But since my thyroid is still swollen and he doesn’t know if it’s scar tissue from the radiation or something else so I’m off to the ENT to have that lovely scope threaded through my nose and down my throat. Yippee.  Oh and it’s almost time again for the GT twins, upper and lower.  Just to make sure there are no holes anywhere.  And, if I’m not mistaken it’s time to get squished and a visit to the lady doctor.  June is tune up month.  Even Oscar has his regular checkups in June.

Got some work done in my ETSY shop over the weekend.  Lots of new vessels listed.  If you like any, and yes, this is blatant advertising, but it’s my stuff so shut up, use coupon code VESSELS512.  It’s only good till the end of the month.  Here are some tempters.

 

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger


and that patience is a virtue, and good things come to those who wait.

Whoever “they” are, haven’t had to deal with doctors returning calls or getting test results back to find out if you are going to have to go to war once again.  That’s how I see battling cancer.  Going to war, armed with a pea-shooter and a roll of toilet paper.    I still have heard nothing about my results.  I really don’t want to wait till next Thursday to find out.  I find myself returning to self-mutilation when I’m stressed and I keep catching myself.

When I was young I was a cutter.  The feet were always a good place to cut cause you could hide them easily.  Broken glass and boyfriends names all done in a drunken stupor in my friends basements or at the playground.  I’ve gotten away from the open bleeding wounds, now I do it on a small-scale.  Like tearing the skin off from around my nails.  Or cutting my toenails till they bleed (the main reason for pedicures for me.  Stops me from doing that.)  Sometimes I catch myself sticking pins in my fingers to see how long I can stand it.  I am aware that I’m doing it.  And I am making every effort to stop doing it.  Stress adds to it.  And I’m about stressed to the max.

Really itching to get some backyard work done today.  Once the yard gets a bit warmer and drier.  We’ve had bad storms the past three nights that have really torn things up.  The weeds love it though.

I think I’ll take Oscar for a long walk today.  It’s kinda nice out 60 degrees or so.  Poor Joe can’t keep up with us anymore.  His knee tires him out after half a block.  Have to get Oz some exercise.  We are headed for Columbus to see C and L and the kids.  It seems like forever since I’ve seen them.  It’s supposed to be a nice weekend with rain on Sunday which is our return home day so that works.  Hopefully it will be nice enough to sit outside by the fire with hotdogs and a cold beer.  I so need this.  Traveling is hard, but the treasure at the end of the journey is worth it.  And Oscar loves playing with Ellie.

I’m off now to ponder the universe that exists only in my own bellybutton.  Have a great weekend everyone.  I hope the sun shines on all your picnics.

B

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