It’s just a little test. Will only take a few minutes. They lie like a bad toupee.
Had a biopsy done on my thyroid today. Three hours and it hurts hell. I want a freaking bottle of tequila and I want it now. Vicodin won’t touch this much pain alone.
Got there right on time and went into admitting and waited, and waited. After 5 minutes of waiting to check in, I finally walk down the row of cubicles to find three workers chatting. I don’t wait well, and I think I kinda let them know that in my not so subtle way. So, I get checked in and get sent upstairs for blood work. You would think this would be done in a nice sterile area, right. Not at Botsford. You go through a door, past the receptionist, right at the file cabinets and tucked into a corner is a little chair with a rolling cart full of blood drawing supplies. I can see everyone at their desks, on their phones, doing their jobs. unfortunately, they can see me too. I’m glad I’m not a fainter. That would have been ugly.
So, I go back to admitting so they can direct us to my next test area. And we head back to the ultrasound area. Now most women knows what an ultrasound is and even if they know it’s on a different body part, we still panic a bit. I was naturally confused since I had the ultrasound two weeks ago and I was there for a biopsy. This is where I learned a new phrase, “ultrasound guided biopsy”. Sounds kinda pretty doesn’t it? So they lead us into a waiting room and with a cheery, “someone will get you soon”, they disappear.
Now the first thing I notice is the freezing air. I’m talking there are blankets piled on the chairs it’s so cold in there. It’s OK, I dressed for it, but I grabbed one of those warm blankets anyway and sit down to wait. Ninety long, cold, boring minutes passed before they came and got me. I was up after an hour waiting and asking if there was a problem and by the time she checked and got back to me another half hour passed and they came and got me anyway.
Now they lead me to the ultrasound room and I notice that there are a lot of people there. Usually it’s just you and the tech and today there were two techs, a doctor, a nurse, two lab techs and a partridge in a pear tree. I was in trouble.
I did get to watch the biopsy on the monitor, since I had to keep my head turned that way.
The went pretty easily from there. Some needle sticks, a little sharp pain then done in thirty-five minutes. Now that the lidocaine has worn off though, I’m rethinking the tequila we spoke about earlier. Have a marvelous night my friends. Have a blast this weekend.