Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Posts tagged ‘Beads’

These are the days to remember…

Wow, the last two weeks have flown  by.  I’ve had two MRI’s, a C.T. scan, an electrical stimulus test, a series of injections into my neck and shoulders, four days in the hospital recovering from stomach flu, buried an uncle, lost a filling, got beads ready for a show on Sunday (wish me luck),  found and started addressing my Christmas cards, continued working on memorizing “the night before Christmas”.  Oh, took Oscar for his final therapy dog test (he passed).  Hows that for not doing much of anything.

Test results are still in the air.  Still testing and trying things.  It could be Carpal tunnel in my wrist, but that doesn’t explain the arm pain.  It could be nerve damage in my plenum but that doesn’t explain why only one arm.  Could be a reaction to chemo where some nerves just up and quit and I have to deal with it.  The injection they gave me last week takes 7-9 days to take effect, so, we wait and see if the feeling comes back, if the pain goes away or gets worse.  I’m to the point that I can barely type.  The good news is they are checking for cancer during all these tests and everything has come back clean.  So I’m still a NERD.

So nervous for today.  My first bead show and sale in five years.  And I’m working it.  I’m scared and a little intimidated by this.  I’m not an outgoing person by nature, especially in person.

Wish me luck today.


I’ve probably started half a dozen posts

In the past couple weeks and just haven’t finished them.  Guess the subject matter didn’t hold enough of my attention (subject = me 😦 ). I am finally starting to come out of my funk.  I’ve volunteered to participate in the Beads of Courage torch-a-thon in Brighton for next Saturday.  My scheduled time is from 2-4 p.m.  I can’t wait.  I’ve just seen a list of some of the artists that will be there and I must admit to being a bit intimidated.

I have also joined a glass guild and signed up for a bead show in October.  All of which means that I’m scheduling things for me, to do by myself, with people who share common interests.  OMG, what a concept.  I won’t know how to act.

So for those of you  who have expressed concerns about my disappearance, it wasn’t you, really, it was me.

I’m off to vacuum.  Have a wonderful day all.


Be it ever so humble…

So, last week I was seriously depressed.  Hated life, hated cancer, hated chemo.  So Joe, with his unfailing insight suggested that I contact some of my “torch friends” and see if I could take a two/three-day class somewhere (P.S.  to the man behind the curtain.  You’ve been outed my friend, and Thanks).  After not torching full-time for several years, and with the advent of Silver glass and TAG glass and beautiful murrini being made, I needed a refresher course on “How to make a bead 101”.

To my surprise and delight Ann Schermo Baldwin invited me to Virginia to play, laugh, whip me, beat me, make me make good beads. :).  I had such a blast.  And after the first day my confidence came back and watching her work is just mesmerizing.  I learned so many fun thing, and remembered so many fun things.  I truly needed this excursion to rebalance myself.  Thanks everyone that made it possible.

So, I got home and immediately went to fondle my glass and see what goodies I have that she showed me and was amazed at some of the things I’ve collected in the past couple years that I haven’t resold in my haze of meds.  I found lots of amazing silver glass and some Double Helix murrini and Double Helix rods and TAG rods and some really sweet Ventrofond that is at least six/seven years old that is layers of colors with clear.  I can’t wait to blow shards out of it.  It looks amazing.  And apparently I bought pounds of the new Effetre Handmade colors that have come out recently.  I had a box full, tucked in a corner, along with a box of Moretti 104 sheet glass.

I can’t wait till tomorrow to torch all day.  I have so many ideas going through my tiny head.  I’ll post pictures tomorrow of the beads I made with Ann and hope that my beads will continue to improve with practice.

It’s late and I’m tired.  It’s been a busy week.  Huggs to everyone. 

Blessings and goodnight.

Wow, totally lost Monday

Was kind of in a fog yesterday. Went to the Radiation oncologist for my first appointment. The good news is that they are going to wait till after my second chemo round to see if the cancer cells are shrinking without radiation. If they are, Party, if not, radiate. Radiation will be hard this time. They will be shooting around my vocal cords thus rendering me speechless for several months. Doc told me that my throat will be sore for at least 6 months after ending radiation, possibly a year. Not scratchy sore like a cold, but like you’ve been hit in the neck with a tire iron sore. Kinda like now, but worse. Swallowing will be a concentrating experience. No saliva either. Plus the fact that they might have to overlap radiation fields from last time, which is bad. Your cells can only take so much radiation before they stop holding together and lesions form.

So, Lucky me 🙂 I get to maybe miss all that. I’m guessing it’s because the cells are so widespread and there is no direct tumor to radiate that they are going to wait and see.

oncologist today at 3:00. Really have no idea what is in store for me there. It’s all kind of hurry up and rush to get there, but really don’t know why you’re there at all. I will find out today though. I have my list of questions ready. I know what drugs I’m getting, I’ve done my homework. I’m ready for this. Did put a shout out to my LE friends for cards, letters, things to read, funnies. Anything to pass the time. Same goes for here. I need all the cheer I can get. I’ve got my journal ready and everything will get printed and put in. That way I can read and re-read while I sit.
On a lighter note, I did get torch time yesterday. I just excused myself and went downstairs and fired up. Made some really pretty vessels. I think I’m going to fire up again. Mom’s still sleeping and Joe’s at work. I’m finding that vessels are a great way to use up single rods of glass. Not enough to make a set, make a big ole’ hollow vessel.

Hollow lampwork vessel.


Think of me today at 3:00. Send a flash of white light.

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