Yesterday I was committed to go to a Beads of Courage event with a bunch of other bead makers from a crossed Michigan. I had everything packed and ready to go when the old insecurities reared their ugly heads. What if I don’t know anyone? What if everyone is better than me? What if I don’t find anyone to hang around with? I swear at times like this, I feel like I’m back in elementary school. I can actually make myself sick. I build the stress and concerns up so much that I talk myself out of going. I know I missed a wonderful opportunity to bond with other bead makers. Although I did round-up 700 beads to donate, I just hurt myself by hiding out and not participating. I was also supposed to go to a guild meeting today. But, because I was embarrassed about not showing yesterday I didn’t go today. It’s like a snowball effect.
The only commitment that I actually kept last was taking Oscar for his first two evaluations with Therapy Dogs Inc. We have one more eval on this coming Friday and then we will be certified for therapy dogs. He really enjoys interacting with people, although he would be happier if I didn’t have to pick him up to see people in their beds. He loves being cuddled, hates being picked up.
So I’m off to nap again. When I can’t deal with life, I nap. Hey, it works for me.