Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

Toys that belong locked in the closet of my mind.

How to play:

Step 1: Form and load Play-Doh poop pellet in the dog’s mouth.
Step 2: Position your pooper scooper under the wiener dog’s butt.
Step 3: Roll the die. Squeeze the leash lever the number of times shown on the die. Each squeeze makes a Gassy sound that pushes air into the dachshund, moving the poop through its system until…plop! If you’re lucky, collect poop as it drops out the other end.

The first person to collect three poops on their shovel wins. Be careful though… some die rolls make you skip a turn while others let another player trade scoopers with you. What’s the appeal of this game aside from the obvious “woah” factor?? The wiener dog makes noises as the poop passes through the digestive track and the dachshund’s tail shakes the entire time.

This Doggy Doo pooping dog game is recommended for Ages 4 and up.

From the Manufacturer

Double the fun with Barbie doll and her best friends Taffy or Tanner dogs, in two playsets! Girls can choose fuzzy Taffy dog with three puppies, or Tanner dog with treats, toys and clean-up accessories. Each includes lots of pieces for playtime! Window box. Ages 3 and over.

Product Description

Barbie doll and her dog Tanner are best friends! Tanner dog is super soft and fuzzy and her mouth, ears, head and tail really move! Girls can “feed” Tanner biscuits, and she can hold a bone and chew toy too. When Tanner has to go to the bathroom, Barbie doll cleans up with her special magnetic scooper and trash can. Posable Barbie doll included. Doll measures approximately 11.5″ tall.Description

   

Something I want my granddaughter to be highly proficient at, shaving her own baby.  You never know.

She spins, she twirls, her disco ball sends sparkling lights around the room.  The stripper music plays while she entertains you young ones for hours.

Don’t all parents dream of having their children ride around in the (mostly) hollowed out skull of a gigantic cyclops? Well, your hopes and prayers have been answered. Your kids are now able to play at being Argonauts, as they chase horrified neighborhood children into a lifetime of psychotherapy.

Poop is one of the most juvenile topics of conversation, so it’s natural that someone would try to capitalize on it. Now you can capitalize on it too, literally, with a piggy bank in the shape of a swirling pile of dog feces. If that’s not enough, let your dog tear up a plush chew toy in the shape of its own leavings, and give your toddler the patented “Pee & Poo” toys that are so popular with the youth today.

Barbie has always been a role model for young girls, as the ambitious career woman who becomes anything from a Doctor to a Veterinarian, and now, a mother. I’m highly doubtful that this toy helps clear up a child’s confusion about childbirth, so please, purchase with caution.

struts — um, yeah, high. stripper-rific my little ponies? because that’s what the shoes imply! different than the original my little pony, these animals are all about their long manes, their high heels, and their halter tops.

Her eyes drew me from across the crowded store.  Psycho Barbie disguised as Lucille Ball.

Her eyes drew me in from acrossed the crowded store.

Note the knives sticking out from the box surrounding her.

Loved this one.  Looks like it’s  Scary Barbie day.

Scarlett Barbie - a.k.a. You'll strip for me or I'll peck your eyes out girlie.

 

And to double the scary bitch quotient: Clown Barbie.

Alfred Hitchcock "The Birds" Barbie

A cross between Santa, the Wicked Witch and Alien. I want one for Christmas!

Comments on: "Toys that belong locked in the closet of my mind." (5)

  1. Melissa said:

    That just may be THE ugliest Christmas sweater in the history of the earth. Figures…only you would find a pic of it! Hilarious, thanks for the laugh!

    • A picture? I tore that off my mom’s back and locked it in the “scary freeking things closet”. I thought the Mob bike was worse.

  2. Oh wow! I agree these are crazy toys! I especially don’t like the barbie with the baby in the belly!

  3. Brenda, you’re a genius finding these.
    They are all really awful.

  4. Rowyn Capers said:

    OMG, that’s all I have to say.

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