That’s what has happened to me since my last post. I keep meaning to post and to update my blog, but spring is here and with the return of warm weather comes the issues that wear a body down to her last spirit and still, have to keep keeping on.
I’m sure we all have our issues and trials that we face daily and lately it seems I have more in my head that I can commit to the written word. This is a place where I can usually speak my mind and lately my mind is in a place where I fear for others to roam. I’m starting to come back to me though. I actually wanted to write today…….
But I didn’t…..
I don’t know what interrupted me that day but it must have been a hell of a something. I totally lost my creativity that day. I haven’t made anything all summer, with the exception of one day when I actually, intentionally left the house and went to a friends and she taught me to make ornaments. No torching, no cleaning beads, no writing, no painting, no knitting, no finished crochet projects (lots started and torn out), no scrapbooking, no card making, nothing. I haven’t even cooked that much my creativity has been at such a low.
I’ve been in such a dark space this whole summer. I feel like I’m getting smaller in place when I should be growing and learning and taking advantage of where I am in my life. Instead I sit, day after day and do nothing. I’ve tried to volunteer my time, but I can’t seem to get a return call from the organizations I contact.
I do believe the curtain is lifting on the fog that has become my life though. A very successful outing to see the kids and the grands has help immeasurably toward lifting it. I love seeing the faces of the ones that lift my heart. I got the biggest lift to my heart when I was cuddling my granddaughter and she pointed to the pink star tat on over my heart and she said, “gramma, this one is for me, cause you love me forever.” She is so right. To the moon and back.
So, we closed the pool today. Bummer. No more crystal clear blue waters out the back door. Now there is a strangely alienesque silver tarpaulin covering the ground over more than half my back yard. 228 days, a Monday, 7 months and 16 days from today until I see the blue water of my pool again, or thereabouts.
I’m off to figure out what to make for dinner. I’ve been mentally challenging myself to do little things every day. Even something like cooking dinner takes a lot of mental powers.