Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.


And I have been terribly remiss about updating my blog.  50 lashes with a wet noodle to me.  Just so much going on.  If I even get on my computer it’s to delete the 100’s of spams and junk mail I get every day.  I try to be careful and not use my “real” mail address on websites, but somehow it trickles out anyway.

I appreciate my husband more than ever now that I’m in his shoes.  Having to do all the shopping and errands on top of cooking and cleaning and laundry.  I know mom and Joe are doing as much as they can to help with everything, but the worry about it getting done is all on me.

Joe is recovering slowly.  I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes.  Hell, I don’t want to be in my shoes either, but what can ya do.

Had chemo yesterday and for some reason they doubled my steroids dose.  ‘Roid rage is nothing to mess with.  I feel like I have one nerve left and the whole world is tap dancing on it.  So what did I choose to do today?  Take my 82 yo MIL to K-Mart.  Yep, I put myself into the center of the storm and almost made it out without inflicting damage to anyone.   I say almost because I got to the checkout before snapping.

We got to the store and I pointed mom to the shoe dept since she wanted new slippers.  I had a list and can move faster alone so off I went.  I did splurge a bit, pillows and mattress covers were on sale so I bought new ones for our bed.  Love new bedding!  Finished off my list in record time then proceeded on the MIL hunt through the crowd of  females that seem to populate the store.  I must say at one time, while rolling through the isles, I found myself singing to the music pouring out from overhead.  Something about changing stupid locks and making him leave his key, when to my surprise, I hear several other ladies singing along.  I’ve finally reached that age where I don’t give a shit and will sing out loud if I want to.  What a great feeling.

Anyway, found mom, got her together, stopped and looked at some tops for her.  Made it to the checkout and I haven’t hit anyone yet, in fact am having a pretty good trip.  Then I check out.  Everything goes well, she rings me up while making pleasant conversation with me.  As she’s holding my last item to scan, her co-worker walks up and starts talking to her about working late and training a new girl.  Now I’m already on edge and these two are playing with fire.  I made it for approx 3 minutes before I interrupted with a resounding “excuse me, may I finish here?”  Now, I tried to be nice, but I’m sure the tone was there.  If looks could kill, I’d be toast.

OK, I’m typed out.  Gonna go relax and watch something fun on TV.

Peace ya’ll

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