Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.

since I updated here.

The good news is that I am still around and kicking.  The bad news is that I’ve had to skip radiation for the past two days because my platelet count is way too low.  Normal range is from 250-450 thousand.  Today, mine were at 14 tho.  All I want to do anymore is sleep.  I’m guessing that 19 out of my 24 hours are now spent sleeping.  I’m too weak to even take the dog for a walk.  When I stand up, the room spins and I’m afraid I’m going to pass out.  I think the worst emotion that I’m feeling right now is frustration.  I can’t do anything for myself and it’s getting old really quick.  And while I dearly appreciate all of my family for stepping up to help out this past week, I know my guilt will assert itself and I won’t be able to ask for any more time.  Tito took me to the hospital this morning, Dorothy cooked me a weeks worth of food, DH cleaned all my downstairs windows for me (now that’s love) while I slept yesterday because he knew they had been bothering me. 

My throat is so swollen on the inside that I’m having a really hard time swallowing anything.  Even a mouthful of water takes two or three tries to get it all down.  When Dorothy called earlier this week and asked what I needed, I jokingly told her ” a wife”.  Someone that will cook my favorite, easy to eat foods so they are ready when I want them.  Would you believe that she made everything on my list, plus some cheesy soup.  It’s great having a wife.  (now if only…….)

I hope I start feeling better soon.  Arts Beats and Eats is coming to Royal Oak soon (Labor Day) and I really want to go this year.  BBQ ally is going to be bigger than ever.

I have 5 more days of radiation left.  It should be three but with my low platelets, they don’t want to radiate.  So, I wait till Monday and see what the numbers look like then.  I did talk to one of my Oncology nurses and found out that I have several more rounds of chemo left, not a couple, but several.  I can’t wait to find out what that means.  I just want this to be done so I can get on with my life.

Huggs to you all,  Have a marvelous weekend that is filled with smiles and wonder.


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