There is an official end to the tunnel, even though it’s still two more weeks plus, at least it’s a tiny light. I’m hopeful that I’m done with the chemo also. This last session tore me up.
I now fully understand why prisoners were tortured with a strict diet of bread and water. It causes a binding effect that is most painful to experience. And given the fact that they ate mostly whole grain breads I imagine that would have been worse. Anyway, the chemo caused some major binding and intestinal swelling. Now I have to be careful what I eat for a few days so that I don’t overdo and tear anything. My insides ache like I went seven with Sonny.
There is something so basic in being reduced to not being able to eat, drink, sleep, vomit or have a bm for four or five days. By the middle of the third night I was in agony and nothing worked. Luckily things are moving along swimmingly now. Lesson learned: double up on the Senakot the day before and the day of chemo just to smooth things out.
They want to double my radiation tomorrow. 45 minutes in that cage. I think I’ll ask Tio to drive me, that way I can relax and medicate as needed. My last double day. My skin on my neck looks like a Savannah Monitors right now. Crispy and fried and kinda gnarly, like you used to see on the old women who spent a lot of time by the pool. Old leather comes to mind.
I am so thankful for my friends and family that have helped me through this.