Regardless of the situation, no matter how hopeless the outcome may be, I will never quit, and I will never back down. I have become the wolf.


Getting my results today at 2:30.  Seems like everything in my life lately is timed at 2:30.   I feel like I can’t make a decision to save my soul.  Every time I close my eyes I see a dark and dangerous path ahead of me.  I’m so frightened, absolutely stone cold scared out of my freaking mind. 

Face it, how many chances do we get in each life to cheat death.  I figure that  the last cancer go around it was my fourth cheat  (If you wanna know the other three, tough,  I’ll save that for another time).  There is a series of movies out called “Final Destination”.  It has long been one of my favorite series’.  The premise of the movie is that several people “escape” death by luck and premonition.  The remainder of the movie is death catching up to even the score.  I can hear the wind fluttering the papers in the back of my mind already.

Haven’t slept much since we got back from Mexico.  Joe bought me a “white noise” machine with the sound of ocean waves on it.  It helps sooth me to sleep, but the demons wake me up.  Dark and dangerous dreams.  Don’t remember them, don’t really want to.  Just not bright and cheery.  I come downstairs in the morning and curl up on the couch with the boys.  I can sleep then.  They snuggle so close and warm.  They know that something is going on with me.  I’ve taken to calling them velcro 1 and 2.

I feel like firing up my torch and just melting glass today.  Unfortunately that means cleaning mandrels, dipping mandrels, then cleaning workspace in order to start.  I’m just too frigging tired.  Have to get off my ass sometime yeah? 

HAGD

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